its been a lot of worries. this is the first time.. when exam was so insignificant in my entire uni years. even though i know i screwed up 1 paper (cuz i wrote out of pt), i got over it quick. maybe cuz there were more pressing worries clouding my mind.

i'll not be online as often. i'll be going to my grandma's place in the day. she just got discharged from hospital.

n yes mgirls. this is the medium i'm updating ur with! i updated! dun scold me for keeping things to myself!

was it suppose to be scary to sleep over in the hospital? your not brave when u do something which u dun even regard it as a fear lor. at least thats how i feel. i dun fear staying over at hospital to accompany my grandma lar. got nurses, doctors and got my grandma what.

but the fact that my grandma was running a high fever in the middle of the night, that is scary. its really not easy being a good caregiver. to battle w fatigue after u know her fever dropped was so tiring. i couldnt help myself n dozed off for a little while.

ahh well. i shld be worried over the damn paper i screwed up. but over already right. hopefully it'll be a c grade n nothing lower. den.. ermz... hopefully.. somehow or another i will not fall below 3.5. if not.. sigh. maybe i shld not have taken honours.

bahhhhz.

n i won't be online frequent for next few days. will be over at grandma's. =) dun ask me exam how? cuz.. i asked myself.. grandma more impt or exam more impt? of course is grandma lor. i'll cope somehow. =)

One day.. my mom came into my room and asked

"why did u buy baby shirt?"

i was shocked. since when did i buy baby shirt? den she walked into my room with this tiny piece of clothing on her hanger.



our puzzled look emerge into one filled with shock.

"could that be......."

n we burst into laughter!

my washing machine shrank my cardigan into baby size clothes!

that is how small it is now. furthermore.. it was a mng.

damn. now we're trying to make it into the original size. its so small my dog can wear. hahaha

my eyes are smaller den usual,

cuz i didnt have enough slp. cuz i watched sisters keeper. haha

this week was a lot of time spent outside... not doing work compared to my usual previous weeks of mad rushing. i think i needed it. just to get out, laugh, and do all the what nots. haha n meet up w the many pple whom i miss.

n i know the celebration hasn't end. =)

n i have one last stretch to finish my race.

i pondered about my life goal, and got a bit frightened at myself. this purpose in life which i found a few years back kinda changed many aspects of me. i thought i was beginning to get jaded, but i was always reminded by many many to step out of it. I thought i was getting tired, but she was always there to fire up my passion, to make it real for me.

i guess i really want to achieve it, to the extent some may regard it as a form of obsession. but fighting the exhaustion is never easy.

at the same time i want to differentiate my private life n friends from this obsession. though i know its very much a part of me. but i still do, somehow.. want to tell myself that "hey.. i need not live in the shadow of that purpose 24/7." i don't want to be perpetually labeled that all the time i guess. objectivity takes away a lot of fun. i want to be bias at times. i want to talk nonsense. i want to slack n be useless sometimes.

i know i can't have the best of both worlds all the time.. but sometimes.. just some space to indulge will suffice.

n so i spend most of the time in my lol-able anime. i'm addicted to it. cuz it makes me laugh n takes all the worries away. n help chase those nightmares away.

SHOO nightmares.