What attracts people to you?
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emotionz-> 24 hrz n less away frm torture..
hahahaz yeahz.. at 11am tml n i'll b torture free! muahahaha.. hahahaz.. laz paper tml.. mathz.. think i prob screw up moz of my paperz larz.. lit econz.. grr.. juz hope can scrap a pass in everything.. lit was writin crap todae.. dunno what i crappin abt also.. juz hope i'm crapping with sense.. hahaz.. as fer econz.. didnt finish my drq.. n make mistakez here n there.. but all over.. so heck! lookin ferward to tml!

well.. euro 2004 now going on.. in fact ending soon.. actualli i hope it ends soon.. cuz wheneva got soccer match meanz lotza betting.. haiz.. n i dun approve of betting larz.. esp big betz.. believe in earning every cent.. then u will treasure what u haf.. n fer sure there isnt ani debts owe etc etc.. well but who am i to disapprove ani1 aniwae.. hahahz..

admire d 1 who is able to resist temptation, respect those who manages to crawl outta it

well.. temptation is a hard thing to resist.. i myself is a victim of temptation.. hahaz.. in the midst of exam n i'm still playing a fool.. but there are small temptationz n big onez fer every1 out there.. the 1 who is able to resist are those whom i realli admire fer their determination.. as fer those who actually fell into it n crawl outta it.. ur won my respect...

sumtimez i wonder
how we can b so similar
yet so different,
so close yet so far..

many thingz we agree on
otherz we haf different perspective
u earned my respect
but in sum areas, lost it.

maybe u are right
but dun think i'm wrong either
thoughts turned away
oppositez attract

emotionz-> controlled..
haha sorry gf! reali sorry! promised to chat with ya online yest nitez but dun to unforeseen circumstances (like my dad totally forgot abt my internet billz AGAIN).. i was unable to cum online! hahahaz.. n i was so caught up with my mathz.. i fergot to sms u to tell ya that! realli sorry!

well.. life been.. letz sae.. drained. Everydae is study fer me now.. n haf been gettin the headache attacks larz.. hate it.. but luckily itz mild headaches compared to laz yr'z 1.. haha think too much studies is bad fer health ehz.. hahaz..

well.. fer the wk.. emotionz went outta control.. itz so scary.. felt feelingz that i neva experience b4.. but now itz tamed.. know yt sae itz bad.. like angelo to control ur emotionz.. but sumhow i feel safer this wae.. maybe i restrict myself too much.. but sadictic-lly i actually feel more comfortable this wae.. guess the reason y emotionz sprung outta control was cuz the weak mentality during examz.. haiz.. stress n examz weakens the poor little mind..

jealousy leads to irrationale thoughts but reveal the depth of love

this is what i've learnt.. experiences.. my dog got jealous when i was playing with my nephew n actualli bit him... luckily she didnt bite hard.. well.. showz how jealousy can make 1 irrationale.. even though shez juz a dog.. but it reveals a lot.. itz like othello.. itz cuz he love desdemona so much.. thatz y jealousy is able to drive him far frm rationale thoughtz..

really wanna reveal
but unable to unfold
feel the drift
weakened mentality

words sincere yet shy
actionz lackz courage
sensitivity being doubt
emotionz i will control

confused feelingz
scare me to bits
piece the broken puzzles
hopes that nothin change

Selina:

Status is important to you and your ability to achieve success and earn money. You have a need to be noticed and seek status. You can be quite inventive and quite curious. You have a diplomatic flair to your nature. Equality and fairness are important to you. You are relatively demonstrative in your affections. You enjoy being stroked verbally and physically. You can handle details well. You have a methodical mind. You have much enthusiasm with a driving attitude toward achievement in life.

Lim:

You have a diplomatic flair to your nature. Equality and fairness are important to you. You need to learn to give and receive love for love's sake. You have a need to be assured of affection. You are always involved with projects and things to do.

Mei Shan:

You are always involved with projects and things to do. You need to learn to be expressive. You are a person who cannot tolerate being misunderstood. You need to learn to give and receive love for love's sake. You have a need to be assured of affection. You have a need to earn money to prove your success to society and must learn the true value of material gains and status. You work hard to achieve material success through your own efforts. You have a need to be up front. You must learn to give 'wise' service and not be a martyr.

sumthin i found abt my name.. quite true to certain extent.. well go try ur name at http://miva.zodiacal.com/acro.mv

emotionz-> tired.. exhausted.. mentally..
well.. been reminising abt the ol timez.. laz yr with doggy.. sister.. jiemin.. angela.. yt.. at the serene centre macs.. studying.. so much fun.. haiz.. how i miss sister.. how i miss his nonsense.. miss the fun with them.. miss k-box.. miss lotza chi. leng jokes.. miss bball at ccab n tanglin c.c...

thinkin abt the timez juz make me stare into space n let out a chuckle.. sad we all drifted.. let me shout out loud here.. I MISS ALL OF U! hmz.. den was listenin to pwb-tell me.. reminded of the timez in class with yt.. sumhow examz sucked my soul away.. sucked my liveliness away...

realli thank god.. that i neva did drift away frm my o.i palz.. still standing strong n closely together.. hahaz juz laz nite.. conference.. almoz make me luff until i fall of the chair.. haha den yt little mistake.. brought more confustion to our little conversationz.. but it was fun! hahaaz.. anitime spent with jm n marian n yt is fun!

studying fer examz weakens the rationale n simple mentality, silly thoughtz aroused

turning into zombie
frm all the studies
emotion n mindless
throwing me into madness

brain stopped
malfuntioned
stressed
help-ed?

stoned

emotionz-> feeling lazy.. or maybe.. unsure
yesh i know i mia.. cuz.. yeah. read above.. hahaz.. overall spent my time attemptin to study.. but neva complete anithin much larz.. still got loads more to go..

sundae.. went to sentosa with o.i palz.. v fun! mizz them loads! hahaz turn out was quite ok.. got abt 10 of us there larz.. miss them manz! n we took loadsa pictures larz.. haha can go c by clickin on "recent photoz" n link frm there! all the cheeky thingz we do n zi lian photoz..but loadsa fun! we shld haf it again nex holz! mizz them loads!

another fun time will b yest nitez.. saf concert! haha so charming larz.. er hemz.. hahahha 1 guy look v cute! n he can sing damn high! he'z damn good with his diaphragm larz.. i'm damn impressed.. hahaz admire him alot! hahhaz he's singing is the kind where if he sing a luv song to gf.. the gf will juz melt to the floor n turn into liquid..! den i love it when they sang "yes sir, thatz my baby"! they look damn cute larz! hahahaz..

Mellifluous voices captures my soul n takez it on rollercoaster rides through d dulcet harmonies

thatz what i can sae abt the concert.. realli.. den after that went maxwell centre n eat supper.. n played sum forturne tellin with the poker cards! hahaa damn amusing! tellin abt u n ur crush kinda stuff! hahahaz..feelz good to c sarah mira jo and jaimes! sad char cldnt make it.. haiz.. but we had a great time larz..

LEAF departure is because of WIND pursuit... or because TREE didn't ask her to stay....

if i'm LEAF i will definitely b taken away by WIND.. If i am WIND i prob didnt haf the guts to go fer LEAF.. n if i'm TREE i prob wldnt dare ask LEAF to stay.. esp knowing that WIND will be a betta option fer LEAF...


sitting silently by myself
pondering deeply
the clashing gushes of emotionz
lost n trap

walking wearily towards
rollercoaster thrill
feelingz of reluctance n desire
missing n craving

questionz quite queer
answers so unsure
battling between the brain n heart'
desperate n rationale

EmoTionz-> stoned
tired.. mainly juz tired.. alwayz got waken up earli in the morn by either mom on the phone.. nephewz moving ard.. etc etc.. n plus i slp late.. okok i know ur gonna sae 12 is not v late.. but cuz i'm sum1 who requires bare min 8 hr of slp.. anithin less den that i'll b tired.. hahahz..

after attemptin to study fer the noon.. head down to hougang mall by myself.. haha actualli quite enjoyed the journey.. took a train down.. strolling.. towards the mall.. headed downstairs to the pet stores.. walkin ard the shelves lookin at stuff that will interest my dear little gurl.. got a pack of her fav biscuitz.. n her fav pack of sticks that she loves.. adds up to $21+.. den slowly walked towards the candy store.. n spent another $7 fer food fer mom n nephewz.. n went to get mom her top up card fer her hp.. ended up spendin 40 plus.. but no heartaches larz.. n enjoyed shoppin fer stuff by myself..gd time fer reflectionz n planning.. hahahz

sHe aTtEmPtz t0 rEaCt |nDePenDenT|y bCuZ sHe |s n0t aN |n|t|aToR, tHaTz h0w s|LLy she is..

was lookin at the neoprintz that i took with frenz.. miss the good ol timez.. miss the thrill in the neo print machines.. been ages since i last took.. haha okok larz.. not ages.. juz mthz ago! hahaz.. hmz.. haha n the differences between now n then.. haha i miss short fringe n long hair!!

emotionz-> all the silly thingz..
haha met yt at rivervale mall.. supposedly study.. but we got so engrossed.. tokin abt her camp.. our lives.. hahaz practically everything.. itz a blessing to haf a fren like her.. sum1 who are on similar frequency as me n at d same time taught me a lot as we haf different perspective n both also stubborn on our perspectives.. hahaz.. let me look at thingz frm another view n thus make it easier fer me to accept otherz actionz n perspective..

gf n me.. once again proved our "telepathy" thing.. manz.. ITZ FREAKING SCARY! hahahaz.. cuz yt n i took train frm sengkang n supposedly to meet him at raffles.. but cuz we are all gonna go on the north line.. in the end sae meet at dhoby ghaut n he was to call me when he reach.. den we came down the escalator n fer sum reason stood there discussin abt the mrt network.. so did not move away as i will usually will.. cuz escalators usually mean alot of pple.. den train came n yt haf to board it as she was running late.. den i bid her goodbye n sae "i gotta wait fer mark to call" n the nex thing i know.. mark was right in front of me.. he got off at the exact same door we were waiting at.. so all 3 of us board the train.. eerie..

as if that wasnt enuff.. i realised that both of us was wearing the same "brand" of bball shirt! gosh! the slamdunk shohoku shirt larz! luckily not the same design though! manz.. itz realli freakin scary larz! how on earth did sumthin like that happened! hahaz..

ok n i fergot my keyz.. so i got locked out.. no i didnt feel angry.. nor irritated..nor lonely..
"s|tTinG A|oNe w|f d ComFoRt 0f knOw|ng tT sHe |s bY mY S|dE tHoUgH sEpeRatEd bY a door, tHaTz h0w s|LLy I am.."
thatz cuz SHE is there.. she barked in happiness upon hearin my return.. but she muz haf guessed that i fergot my keyz AGAIN.. so frm the gap beneath the door.. i cld c her sittin nex to d door.. waitin with me.. blessed.. blessed that she is there.. alwayz there fer me.. thatz how silly i can get.. easily comforted.. seriousli i dont need anithing much.. i dont even know what i need.. i cant bring myself to provide love as easily as i want it.. n i show my love fer another.. in my not so fantastic way.. thanks to my frenz.. fer loving me fer who i am..

sincerely dunno how u all feel...sumtimez i feel that i'm not good enough a fren..failed in my duties in my role.. role as a capt.. role as a daughter.. role as a fren.. role as sum1 special.. but ur neva fail to make me feel wanted.. maybe my character makez me feel easy.. being who i am.. thankz.. thanks fer acceptin me fer who i am.. hope i'm not a torture to any of u.. hope that i did not burden ani1 with my decisions or actionz.. sincerely appologises if i do.. sorry.. sorry.. n thanks

emotionz-> shacked but loadsa fun..!
i'm tired larz.. haha but the fun was worth it! realli! hahaz.. went to mark hse on tues.. in woodlands! let me c.. think itz my 2nd time trying to find my wae ard in woodlands lar! but not bad.. i managed to get instructionz frm gf n found my wae to his hse.. which wae damn near the woodlands check pt larz! can even c malaysia k! manz!! n i've neva tasted instant noodles cooked Gf wae b4 larz! hahahz.. though abit salty.. but it was good!

watched the sadistic show - musa! hahaha damn sadistic! n went shoppin fer bbq stuff with the guyz.. quite funny larz.. me n 3 other sleepy headed guyz! hahaz.. den bbq session was quite tiring.. as in my battery was realli running low.. was practically stonnin through most of it! chelz n manda was doin the harry potter charm thing with the sparkles they bought n it caught a small audiences of 4-8 yr old kids! hahahz.. amusing larz!

yest went to harbourfront with mark, markz sadistic fren.. jaime(pronounced as "hai-me") bing.. ling.. jun.. n simon larz.. but in the end raining.. so we were stonin at the arcade.. played sum gamez den head down to town.. they went to eat sakae while me n simon go walk ard lorz.. too full to pack ani more thingz down larz!

ok.. thatz a brief account on what happened over tues n wed! hahahaz.. but on sundae i'm gonna go sentosa! n it betta not b raining! hahaz.. this time with all d oi classmatez! haha hope we will not be awkward aft not meetin fer such a long time! but since we are a crazy bunch.. dun think so larz..! i hope.. hahhaz

aniwae.. sorry mark.. sorry if we cause u trouble over the past few daez.. hope cleanin up wasnt realli a hassle fer u.. hmz.. hope ur parentz didnt scold u upside down also larz!

"survey" resultz(refer to previous post fer details):

Qn: What is ur definition of Gf/Bf?

Guy 1
someone who can satisfy me emotionally spiritually mentally and support me thru out my work.. and i can do the same too lah... had this ans out like AGES ago.. LoL:

Me:but every1 tokz abt requring mental support.. den y is there so many "physical" seen in a relationship?

physical comes from a part in which two parties have already committed themselves fully into a relationship.. and to know each other better.. to share something that is of physical...
for example the significance of holding hands is the outward showing that two people are committed to each other
and anymore such as a peck is just an outward show of how much u are already into a relationship..
what ever that goes after that.. mayb frenchin still considerable..
but more into petting is within marriage..
physical portion does allow each other to know more about one another not only in a mental sense by of the other gender.. just like how much i wan to know how ur bf looks without clothes.. *ahem* and all that...
its just to share everything that you have already.. inclusive of the physical aspect


girl 1:
hmm someone who will always be there for me
gives me sense of security

me: but wldnt that be sumthin like a best fren also?

my best fren can't give me a hug i mite need
that sense of security

Guy 2:
someone that i like and would do anything for
haha...... girl friend
good friend
great friend
everything that makes me happy

Girl 2:
bf shld...be caring & loving towards gf

Guy 3:
1 thing impt to both..
Commitment
care, concern, luv...
sense of security frm guys..
happiness.
i think..
best if.. the minds of both can link..
they will noe wat each other's thoughts and feelings..

Girl 3:
dun realli know...
as a gurl think needa be caring and understanding..
juz needa bf to luv u fer who u are.. dun realli expect much

Guy 4:
clever, at least graduate. gentle and bubbly at times.
and a sweet outlook is a bonus...
basically the full package of selina ren(SHE the selina)
a bf must be caring enough...must trust his gf...must remember the impt dates
must be able to comfort her when she is down, must be able to share joy when she is happy...share the pain when she is hurt


haha okok here are the different perspective of sum pple i asked! hahaz.. i'll add on if there are more! this is all i haf fer now.. hahaz

emotionz-> curious me..
juz outta curiousity.. i sprung a qn on sum of my frenz.. haha fer those who reads this.. if u haf the time to spare.. help me ease my curiosity and ans this qn:

What is your definition of bf and gf?

in case u think itz abt ur partnar onli.. no.. this qn has 2 aspect.. if ur a gurl.. ur suppose to reply to what u expect of ur bf as well as what u think a gf shld be like.. n likewise fer the guyz larz.. hahahaz.. cuz i realise every1 haf a different set of definition abt it.. n itz kinda interesting! hahaz

can leave ans on my tag board or msg me abt it larz! i'll try to compile as many as i can n post it here k! hahaz..

Haiz been realli indecisive abt everything nowadaez.. irritated by my indecisiveness n think pple ard me are also irritated.. haiz.. no idea y.. aniwae.. if i dun post fer the nex few daez.. meanz i'm over at "chalet".. take care every1!

emotionz-> accomplished..
hahaz the stupid blogger larz.. i tot i lost the entry.. even checked the dae after k! think itz juz rebellious wanna roam abt den cum back a dae later lorz! hahhaaz

went to study with yt todae! hahaz.. manz! i managed to like do a timeline fer caretaker.. but all in pencil though! haha but still good! yay! big accomplishment! now i hafta go prac mathz n do time line fer othello too! hahaz.. n caretaker muz brush up abit also larz! hahaz.. hmz.. realli enjoy studying with her! itz like tok n study.. with like contentz done n went into my head!

n i got the kenny g soundtrack! damn nice! hahahaz.. i love the saxaphone larz! totally sax-y! hahahhaz.. get the pun?! i'm fallin in love with the art of literature! hahaz..

i'm startin to get scared.. dunno y also.. 1 wk passed so swiftly n i onli sat down n studied fer 1 dae.. haiz.. den nex mon-wed suppose to haf 3 dae 2 nite "chalet" over at gf place.. maybe i shld go on tues den stay over till wed... haha den mon can study.. but den again.. who can i study with on mon? yt will b in m'sia..

i dun haf gd qualities
for such important role
i cant give as much as i receive
my concience n brains juz refuse

the heart pumps faster
as u draw near
but the gaze shifts away
unable to relay

sorry i hafta say
as ur understanding deepens guilt
n herez the puss in boots
that melts me away

emotionz-> frustrated at blogger larz
this is the 2nd time i lose a post larz.. n yest post was damn nice n long! grr... was talkin abt how 4 of us gorbled down $110.71 worth of food.. n ended up paying onli $2.50 each! haha thanx char! cuz char had a 100 buckz nydc voucher! haha n itz N.Y.D.C! hahahaz

now i'm not in much mood to describe the lovely delicacies.. but it will juz make u drool larz! haha too tired fer todae.. went to watch harry potter.. it was quite ok larz.. maybe cuz i know the plot.. den it wasnt as interesting n there were missing partz compared to the bk.. hahahaz

aniwae tml gotta go study with yt.. haha feel so guai..

emotionz-> bloated by the heavenly delicacies..
went to sch fer othello class.. n i seriousli intended to go home n study caretaker.. but when i was at the bus stop.. haha sumhow juz got dragged up the bus 105 and found myself in town.. hahaz but there was definitely no regrets..

went to nydc with char, sarah n jaimes! juz to realise that char actually haf a $100 buckz voucher fer it larz! so we went to N.Y.D.C and gorge down $110.71 of food!

1st... the 2 bowls of creamy chicken soup came.. n we shared the soup.. den shortly after.. mushroom pizza's came! the smell.. the cheese.. the crisp! WHOA! den the speghetti arrived shortly after.. and 3 amigo(think thatz what its called.. itz another delicious pizza!) came to replace the emptied musroom pizza! den the oven baked rice! manz.. the mixture of aroma.. filled our nose.. den the bite.. n the taste.. HEAVENLY~!

ok if u think thatz all... WRONG! den after all the yummy stuff.. we picked up the menu.. n its DESSERT TIME! 1st to serve is pricilliaz favourites.. with its ice cream and the warm chocolate where char poured over the ice cream and cheese cake.. mmm yum.. den b4 we were even half wae through it.. oreos obsession arrived.. the oreos cheesecake melt in ur mouth with the macadamia ice cream meltin in ur mouth.. SaLiVa~rInG! den grandma goes nuts came.. mudpie! its ice cream compact to a squarish shape with loadsa macademia i think! hahaz.. it was simply fabulous larz! neva tasted anithin so good.. n heavenly.. i feel like angels floating ard in wings! hahaz.. n the spy who loved me was served.. well thats juz chocolate ice cream larz.. with oreos.. but it was still good.. though when place to the rest not as good.. hahhaz.. n that was ordered by jaimes.. hahhahaz.. he needed sum love larz.. what to do.. hahahaz

i spot u drooling after readin all those! hahhahaz... after that we were simply so bloated it was a miracle that we managed to go shoppin larz! sarah, char n i went to pacific plaza n char got her bag! lookz realli good on her! hahaz.. n they both of cd! char got shrek 2 while sarah got avril.. bet they are enjoying to the music larz.. den we walked to heerens and walked ard abit n bing joined us.. wanted to get hair band.. but i simply look too guai in the hairband larz.. so pple u hafta bear with me n my so messy hair! hahahaz.. unless i manage to get sunglasses to hold em up! =P

tired frm all the walkin.. slept on the bus till i reached home.. ok.. so i realli muz study in my dreamz now.. hahahhaz.. grr.. leave study to tml larz.. i'm sucha procrastinator..

emotionz-> *ponderz*
-->new link.. watch the commercial.. quite funny.. n dun miss the mtv.. damn touchin n sad! not to b missed!
laz few daez.. juz not in the mood to pen down stuff.. haha itz juz been sweetness n happiness larz.. meetin up with pple i realli miss n all! hahaz

yest met up with alot of t07-erz! hahaz.. char, mira, jo, jaimes, sarah, bing, ling, jun, cherlyn, olivia and serene was at far east fer lunch.. den mark came later.. n char, olivia, mira, jo n serene went off to shop! hahahz.. so in the end onli watch van helsing with sarah, bing, jun, sarah and mark! but it was good larz! hahahaz van helsing was scary! abit larz! hahaz.. but the ending was sad! hmz.. n sorry gf! fergot to warn u b4hand abt my weird horror movie experience.. but be glad cuz sum of my frenz been through worst.. when we went to watch really horror type of horror movies! hahahhaz

dinner was fun also! went to taka n sat at a corner to eat! imran n chels joined us too! den chels was showing us the pic of the night bus(of harry potter!) which she went.. hahhaz.. n she took so many of the exterior of d bus! it was like.. i click n click n all i c is all angle of the bus! n when i finally c 1 pic of the interior.. guess what?! the screen flashes "pls replace battery. low battery." or sumthin like that.. *pengz*

yest was realli lotza fun larz! hahaz.. hmz.. saw a nice fila bag.. shld i get it? hahaz.. n i needa get a hairband too! ok.. i know i said it v long time ago.. but i still haven got it larz! =P hahhaz...

haiz.. read mark blog! haha the song is "dreaming of you" by Selena.. not "selIna"!! differently spelling larz! but her songz rawkz! sad that she died young! n summore during the period when she climbing to fame! haiz.. she was sucha gd singer!

haiz.. so much playing ard.. lookz like i betta start studying soon.. tired already.. *yawnz* tml still got othello.. sigh!