vulnerable.
haven't been my bubbly self recently. have been avoiding forms of contacts. i guess i'm tired. seriously its not so much physcially though thats always the excuse i provide. i confess.. i am tired emotionally. i am sorry i can't bring myself to party mood level, everything just haven been as smooth.
it is more draining to be tired emotionally than physically. maybe its just a combination of both. The emotional exhaust just weakened me for it has always been my support through hectic days. my only support.
i'm in a 'highly demanded' mode of life. Ok i'm not referring to guys etc.... i'm referring to demanded for in terms of responsibilities. Ballet is screaming for my attention, boy boy needs me to work with him for exams, work is opening a bigger store n school work is just piling. On top of that, friends are reminding me of my absence. i deeply appologise. lets hope now after my ballet exam, i have more time for friends.
ballet exam was bad. lets just hope for a pass. dare not expect much.
many a times, people tell me they are jealous of my many groups of good friends, but have your ever thought of the problems i have? i have so many good friends that my time with each n every single one of them is marginalised. i've reached a point where i dont know how to allocate time for every single one anymore. i'm tired. does it mean that more time = better friends? at least aileen and my friendship over the yrs have taught me that time is relative.
Friendship i fostered deepen over a short period of time, in the long run it is more of catching up sessions. Friendship for me is spread out, each n everyone of my friends seem to know different bits and pieces of me. i do try to have time for close friends, but trying one's best does not mean results achieved.
so 2 years of friendship, seemingly strong and healthy but deep down into the bonds may be conflicting and weak. it struck me, understanding was superficial. we lack understanding. characters like mules, ironic personnas, who are we to judge? we are similar, yet we never see our similarities. Caring too much became a fault. Need things turn so bad? we are friends who point out each others weaknesses and share opinions, are we?
'i'm listening'. really? listening as in accepting the ideas or just hearing cause nothing registers? if nothing registers than i might as well talk to the wall cause the conversation just get lost in air. Personally, when another raises questions while 'listening', the person is really paying attention instead of mere hearing. However, will you give that one a chance to pose their uncertainty or judge that they are not listening? so the tables have turned, were you listening to their questions that may be constructive to your speech?
well i guess many prefers to hear than to listen. or some just want another to hear instead of listen. so to ease the speakers irritation, we should hear and not speak, listen and not ask. if that is so, whats the point of intelligent speaking? just talk to the wall. its the same.
i'm just talking rubbish. spare me anti-depressant. i thought after my dance exams all woes will be over, however i am wrong. without the dominant pressure, all troubles flows in. i need to sort things out. Superficiality will not aid in the long run. whats the point of keeping a relationship when it is all mere chore from the initial point.
u must be nuts to be still reading. get a life. do not listen to my depressing post. hear it, maybe u'll feel my grief.
exhausted.
haven't been my bubbly self recently. have been avoiding forms of contacts. i guess i'm tired. seriously its not so much physcially though thats always the excuse i provide. i confess.. i am tired emotionally. i am sorry i can't bring myself to party mood level, everything just haven been as smooth.
it is more draining to be tired emotionally than physically. maybe its just a combination of both. The emotional exhaust just weakened me for it has always been my support through hectic days. my only support.
i'm in a 'highly demanded' mode of life. Ok i'm not referring to guys etc.... i'm referring to demanded for in terms of responsibilities. Ballet is screaming for my attention, boy boy needs me to work with him for exams, work is opening a bigger store n school work is just piling. On top of that, friends are reminding me of my absence. i deeply appologise. lets hope now after my ballet exam, i have more time for friends.
ballet exam was bad. lets just hope for a pass. dare not expect much.
many a times, people tell me they are jealous of my many groups of good friends, but have your ever thought of the problems i have? i have so many good friends that my time with each n every single one of them is marginalised. i've reached a point where i dont know how to allocate time for every single one anymore. i'm tired. does it mean that more time = better friends? at least aileen and my friendship over the yrs have taught me that time is relative.
Friendship i fostered deepen over a short period of time, in the long run it is more of catching up sessions. Friendship for me is spread out, each n everyone of my friends seem to know different bits and pieces of me. i do try to have time for close friends, but trying one's best does not mean results achieved.
so 2 years of friendship, seemingly strong and healthy but deep down into the bonds may be conflicting and weak. it struck me, understanding was superficial. we lack understanding. characters like mules, ironic personnas, who are we to judge? we are similar, yet we never see our similarities. Caring too much became a fault. Need things turn so bad? we are friends who point out each others weaknesses and share opinions, are we?
'i'm listening'. really? listening as in accepting the ideas or just hearing cause nothing registers? if nothing registers than i might as well talk to the wall cause the conversation just get lost in air. Personally, when another raises questions while 'listening', the person is really paying attention instead of mere hearing. However, will you give that one a chance to pose their uncertainty or judge that they are not listening? so the tables have turned, were you listening to their questions that may be constructive to your speech?
well i guess many prefers to hear than to listen. or some just want another to hear instead of listen. so to ease the speakers irritation, we should hear and not speak, listen and not ask. if that is so, whats the point of intelligent speaking? just talk to the wall. its the same.
i'm just talking rubbish. spare me anti-depressant. i thought after my dance exams all woes will be over, however i am wrong. without the dominant pressure, all troubles flows in. i need to sort things out. Superficiality will not aid in the long run. whats the point of keeping a relationship when it is all mere chore from the initial point.
u must be nuts to be still reading. get a life. do not listen to my depressing post. hear it, maybe u'll feel my grief.
exhausted.
