VeXeD when looking at the Exam scripts and tutorials.. dozing off while revising.. *yawnz*..

emotionz-> *yawnz* this is juz the beginning..
manz.. been a long time since i had so much work.. the week was freaking hectic.. busy.. stressful? n tiring!! so much work to do.. n 2 test to revise for.. with more on nex wed!! manz..!! but i LiKe work.. sadistic.. yeahz! =P

hahaz.. well.. theres juz so much sch stuff to do n catch up.. balance my time is now a skill.. but i will rather haf the busy schedule n keep myself workin and hopefully attain good results from it.. been working on my lit. notes to make studying easier for promos since we're startin on our new books soon! LoViN Literature.. neva realise theres so much depth in life.. so much hidden meanings.. so many interpretations.. GroWn intellectually?

more to study for nex week.. PC lit essay test to write.. Maths retest to study for.. econz stuff to read up.. new lit books.. compiling my lit notes for caretaker and othello.. mere thought of it makes me tired.. but i'll PERSERVERE! hahhaz..

bLenDing into the seLf seLected rhythm, graduaLLy increasing d speed..
 
somehow i haf conditioned my little mind into the "study" rhythm and i shall sway with it.. increasing the speed and enjoying(?)  the rhythm.. i wanna go back to dance class! i'm missing dance lessons! haha pun..=P haiz.. when will my ankle eva get the balancing right again? feel like a kid trying to pick up jumping and balancing..! time.. time.. haiz.. TIME!!!

hmz.. tml gotta go to the cpf board early in the morn for learning journey.. n later in the night got caretaker play to attend.. haiz.. meanz i hafta go home late in the night again.. the only time where i wish i cld drive and own a car.. hate walking along dark streets by myself in the night.. d streets are mEnAcInG in the night.. threatening me with silences.. making me feel extremely small.. luckily i got sarah n jaimes n serene to accompany me back to serangoon area.. so its juz a short short journey home alone.. but.. sumtimez 5 mins alone can seem like eternity... 

LiFe is so unpredictable.. what is to happen will remain a mystery till the time haf reached.. appreciate the good.. understand the weakness... heading towards the goals.. every1 wanna be recognise as nice.. but when do u know if sum1 is faking it.. and when is it sincere? no1 knows.. follow ur concience and know that u did nothin wrong.. let ur concience, heart and brain reach a compromise.. depending on which is valued more...

Dreams greet me recently.. all kinds.. even inclusive of sch n teachers like mr t.. mr t?! lessons and studies feel like its a whole day n night affair through my sleep.. n bothering issues.. manz.. Where did my dream keeper go to? take it away from me n gif me a good rest.. tired.. pain in the leg n in the eye.. will my right eye give up on me? pls dont.. i dont wanna live in darkness nor opaque surroundings.. my little fear.. insecurities.. what will darkness be like?

Congrats! Your a Pure Angel! Angels, as far as most
of them go, are all compatabile creatures, but
Pure ones simply are symbols of God. Pure
Angels always appear when a child is born, when
a rainbow is seen, or when someone shares their
first kiss. They never grow old, an can appear
in the shape of a naked woman with white, bold
wings. Pure angels are the carriers of god, and
show their love to everyone in the world.


What Kind of ANGEL are you? (For Girls only) This Quiz has amazingly Beautiful Pictures!
brought to you by Quizilla

FROZEN QUEEN/ KING
You dont want love to come through to you. You like
it the way you are. To be unreachable, no need
to show feelings. Hiding everything inside you.
You are already used to it. You say yourself
that you dont need anyone, that you stand on
your own two feet or that you dont have time
for these things. But in reality you are scared
to get hurt. You feel save where you are: by
yourself, nobody can hurt you there. You
invent your own relationship in your dreams.
You just need to know that you COULD get a
partner.

 ~THE big LOVE TEST!! What do you need? With PICS! For girls and boys!~
brought to you by Quizilla

emotionz-> relief...?
well.. suddenly lotza work piled up.. econz hw.. articles to find.. essays to write.. caretaker notez to write.. wahz.. den all the datelines todae.. n i got so tired out.. juz received my 2 lit books.. brave new world and the return of the natives...

well.. juz started readin brave new world.. manz.. a world where love cease to exist.. as in.. no friendship love.. not event family(parents child) love.. reproduction through cloning.. n "mother" and "father" is a form od insult?! manz!! what kinda life is that.. evey line i ctd to proceed.. fear crawls into me.. what if this really happens? not literally.. but when every1 loses trust and no love is a form of fascade... manz.. scary... humans or robots?

my passion for lit is growing... but itz taking my once had "innocence" away from me too.. open my mind to so many things.. mature? suddenly.. everything loses its simplicity.. Love is to be questioned.. humans intentions... selfish nature... dominace instilled.. menace? interesting.. but brings me closer to the harst reality.. sad.. sad.. sad...

dont think i wanna interpret pple like how i interpret lit books.. though sumtimes unavoidable.. but i refuse to think of pple in the pesimistic way.. no... i believe in the goodness of people.. but what exactly is "good" and "moral"... questions.. questions... haf i matured?

i shall no longer procrastinate.. start work.. start work.. so much to catch up.. so much to learn.. so far away from my goals.. reach.. reach.. hahaha REPETITION... effects?! oh no... lit again. hahahhaz.. ok larz.. letz shift away from literature... think there is a overpollution of literature in my little brain..

hmz.. shall i join LIBRARY?! hahahaz.. me.. library.. super out of place ritez.. or shld i juz go back n join bball.. hahahaz.. i cant decide.. mr kwan saez lib need members.. but there is a sense of attachment to bball... haiz.. tml ptm.. will my mom end up smiling as we leave or face as black as charcoal... wish me luck.. LoaDsa LuCk....

RaCiaL haRomoNy photoz uploaded! do check out the link to "more recent photoz" at the side bar on ur right hand side k!

emotionz-> irritated....
well.. let me get sumthin off my chest 1st k.. so bear with me..
 
cant understand how sum pple can b such blabber mouth n neva understand the idea of LOW PROFILE... n understand that sumthingz are meant to b shushed abt.. n not spread ard! grr... thanx.. thanx for being a form of media displaying to every1 abt my life.... i wld haf prefered to let otherz know abt my life by myself though.. cant blame my stupid "bro" for the misunderstanding.. but nex time i know who i shldnt tell... i'm reminded of the show mean girlz... *sigh* n how i hafta "annouce" the updatez to u.. so u will not be enticed by d secrecy n further broadcast it...
 
ok.. i'm done with my share of bitchin.. sorry abt that.. but juz hafta get it off my chest b4 i drive myself crazy..  aniwae todaez racial harmony was great! the whole class was dressed in ethnic costume.. n suddenli.. therez NO chinese! hahahaz but a whole lotza malays n tamils in our class! itz damn fun! n mira lent me her costume which was damn cool.. juz that i was too lazy to bring my sandals.. or rather.. sent my fav 1 for repair n too lazy go find the otherz! hahaz.. so i brought out the new trend of wearing a.. whatz that call again?!.. the malay ethnic costume with my new shoez! muahahaz..
 
every1 look so chio! n we snap n snap ard! will update the picz soon! by todae i hope! manz.. but now pretty drained.. though the little anger woke me up abit.. hahaz..  the drillz was a killer to my earz... n this sat is my ptm.. wish me loadsa luck... n hope i dun get grounded.. jia you every1! aniwae i signed up for inter class bball.. SHH.. dun let my mom know.. or i'll be scolded until i turn yellow...

emotionz-> questioning my happiness..
hmz.. yest nitez rain heavily.. woke up n mom told me abt how she saw the lightening struck nex to her.. how true? i dunno.. well.. all i know is that i dreamt that i dropped my tooth.. not 1.. but 2.. i like put my little fingers into my mouth n "pulled" out a tooth with a slight nudge.. n surprisingly it didnt shed even a drop of blood.. n i chewed on sumthin else.. n another came out too.. mom sae itz a bad thing to dream abt tooth droppin.. signifies death.. supersticious? *shrugz*.. well.. juz hope nothin bad happens to ani1.. cuz both my mom haf been feeling v bad symbolism stuff recently.. intuition? 6th sense? i hope not... letz juz hope itz juz a bad dream of me becumin toothless...

well.. todae went to queensway to get new shoez.. hahaz supposed to b going wif sarah n jaimes and bing.. but cuz sarah haf to go get a gown(sarah i wanna c the pic arz! dun forget..) while jaimes got too lazy to drop by n find his shoe bag.. so end up with only bing n me at queensway..

the journey was butt acheing manz.. i sat in the bus 147 for like 3/2 hrz cuz of small jamz here n there.. manz.. den bing n i walked ard lookin fer shoez n bag.. hahaz in the end i settled on the blue n white one.. though i still feel the black 1 looks nicer.. but cuz i got too many black shoes.. so i picked the blue n white 1 after lotza ponderin n thinking n suggestion.. haha sorry bing.. for taking so long to decide! well.. bing got this new blue nike bag! lookz quite cool! n think it suits him! hahaz

well.. hafta thank my mom for she salvage my poor little back with her needle work! shez damn pro at it! now i dun needa get new back.. at least not for sum time.. haha wait till i save more $$ first.. now damn broke..

haha bing left queensway 4 his archery after our ice cream.. haha n i ended up walkin ard n got myself a 3-quartz.. den left for another long journey home..

well.. the weather is super bad.. every1 muz take care of health k.. esp twin! alwayz slp so late n wake up earli.. c now ur health haywire... haf u seen a doc?! must slp more arz! GET WELL SOON! i know how it feelz to be sick n feel as if the whole world do not care.. i went through it.. even timez with crutches was tough.. yet sumtimez we hafta self convince ourselves.. there are pple ard who cares..

platonic love.. sumthin i alwayz believe in..maybe too strongly.. but do every1 feel the same wae as me..? hmz.. *Shrugz*..

Allow our dreAms 2 trAnsform n Become A reAlity.. working 2 our dreAms..
 
now i'm gonna put my focus on studies.. yt we must jia you together.. work like crazy.. i gonna aim high n wanna score well.. let my dream of getting into the faculty of social work n psychology cum true.. so i can gain more knowledge n widen areas of help that i can provide.. hope that i wont lose my focus.. hope that my stamina will last.. hopes.. will it carry me far?

emotionz-> happy or sad?
ok.. cuz of gf "calling" to update blog n entertain him.. haha so here i am.. actualli i think i updated in between.. but cuz of RubB1sH board of censorship.. the updatez are not displayed here.. yeapz.. sorry abt that..

well.. we got back our resultz.. the CEO visits me with the GP failing.. hahaz.. yesh.. i scrape a C fer lit with 54.6(D).. which makez it 55(c!).. n econz i got 48.8(E) which makez me 1.2 markz away frm D.. and mathz.. i got o larz.. stupid mathz.. haiz.. lookz like i betta work harder.. as fer gp.. i supposedly got c6 but cuz of 3 markz mod down.. i got d7.. 1 mark to c6.. bullshit larz! grr... well.. hope bro paul dun kick me out or what-so-eva cuz of my gp n mathz..

hmz.. lookz like i betta hit the bookz.. less play n all.. letz juz sae.. i'll aim fer straight B's? hahaz.. sounds abit tough.. but well.. needa prac more mathz n econz.. n read more fer lit i guess.. '

i'm still hunting fer a cca.. ok maybe reluctantly.. hahaz.. but still lookin ard.. sumhow i'm hesitant to join dance.. n therez onli 2 cca in my little mind hovering ard.. bball n dance.. hesitant fer dance but external factors fer bball... which shld i choose? quite tired of thinkin abt it already.. haiz..

i needa go get new shoes.. my nike darling is like.. tearing apart? hmz.. ani1 interested to go queensway with me? hahaz.. todae had pe.. deteriorate.. i cld manage 4 or 5 rounds on mon.. but todae.. 3rd round n ankle hurt.. sux larz.. when will my ankle recover?! i can do small jumpz now.. improvement in a way..but so much more to go...

sounds like so many thingz i gotta work on n all.. but i juz slackin away.. okok i betta go start work.. do sum readin up or do sum mathz.. GRR.. i hate startin to study but i hafta.. haiz.. i cant procrastinate animore... cant afford to..

emotionz-> temporary laughter to cheer...
well.. youth dae celeb todae.. celeb was great.. funny.. mr isaac lim songs were eva so heart warming.. reaching deep into our hearts.. he sang the song if we hold on together.. reminded me of ij.. reminded me abt life..

sittin in class chatting with yt, jaimes, mira n serene.. yesh there were exchange of gossips.. but every little moment cheered me up.. n aft that went to watch mean gurlz...

mean gurlz was v funny.. reflectz abt high school life.. the plastics.. the nerds.. d cool.. the different grp of pple.. makez pple realise how we can all b such gossip-ers.. n how there are such backstabberz ard.. u will neva know who's sincere.. i hate such backstabbing worlds.. well.. all i wanna do now is b as sincere as i can... if i dun like sum1.. i will try to hang out less ard them.. i'll rather b a loner..

after watchin the show.. i realise.. so who can u realli trust? n when will u realise u haf actually changed? well.. itz difficult to know.. we choose the pple ard us whom we trust.. but yet haf we made the wrong choice? well.. i believe i did not.. n i wldnt wanna lose those that i trusted.. it realli hurts to know that u lost the 1 whom u trust n is close to...

it is only through d feeling of lost that i realise the importance

hmz.. like how i felt when i thought i lost my phone.. it is onli then that i realise how impt it is to me.. n i becum protective over it.. but yet sumtimez.. not every lost thingz can b found.. n not everything that is lost will cause a significant worry.. the 1 which causes the emotions of lost are those that was v impt to us.. n we must learn to treasure it.. but not everytime we r given a chance to redeem our carelessness... i have learnt to treasure everything even more...

Diana Ross
If we hold on together

don't lose your way
With each passing day
You've come so far
Don't throw it away
Live believing
Dreams are for weaving
Wonders are waiting to start
Live your story
Faith, hope & glory
Hold to the truth in your heart

If we hold on together
I know our dreams will never die
Dreams see us through to forever
Where clouds roll by
For you and i

Souls in the wind
Must learn how to bend
Seek out a star
Hold on to the end
Valley, mountain
There is a fountain
Washes our tears all away

Words are swaying
Somebody is praying
Please let us come home to stay

If we hold on together
I know our dreams will never die
Dreams see us through to forever
Where clouds roll by
For you and i

When we are out there in the dark
We'll dream about the sun
In the dark we'll feel the light
Warm our hearts, everyone

If we hold on together
I know our dreams will never die
Dreams see us through to forever
As high as souls can fly
The clouds roll by
For you and i

emotionz-> sigh
so much went through my mind recently.. but i've grown stronger.. grown through the numerous sensible( i hope) thoughtz.. it wasnt easy.. but i pulled through! =D

well.. been watchin the show child's hope.. make me realise how blessed i am.. n eva so meaningful words that hit straight to my heart.. how if u cannot find ur focus to live.. carry on living on for others.. yesh.. i think i'm not lost for my goals animore.. i wanna live my life for otherz..

i haf no goals in my life.. as in no ambition.. nothin i wanna achieve.. accept b a dancer.. but dancer seems so far frm reality fer me now.. all i wanna do now is work towards the psychology courses in uni.. maybe not social work.. but psychology.. n leave the rest to the future

thanx fer being my angel
soothin d heart which suffers
1 who comforts
bringz me a smile
hears my sad confessionz
n taught me to b strong

let me be an angel
reachin out to d bitter
maybe not perfect
but 1 who cares
providing 2 extra ears
n sum suggestions
making everything better

sorry to those who are patiently waitin fer new post.. but i dun wanna torture ur with my confusion. so gif me time to clear up my own self knowledge b4 i b back with sensible stuff.. or maybe they were not so sensible in the 1st place..

meanwhile.. herez a pic of my nephew(zinos) n snaffee.. let the adorable n innocent take all our worries away

*sorry fer the weird size.. but juz cant get it ani smaller