Sunday, February 24, 2008

LOVED

the pre celebrations. the frenzy behind arranging them. the last minute-ness. they make me smile. you all lighten up my day. the first cake for the yr's celeb! the brown porky sticks, the exclamation "why no candle? i got lighter!" the quick response "you got lighter, i'll get u candle!" n candles appeared in 2 mins. all impromptu. the resourcefulness of all. its humourous! its heartwarming. =) thanks. though the origins of the candles.. were.. hahhahahhaha

amidst all the files and accounts, the sudden gathering of all. the hurrying that i shld go to the pantry cuz my dear fren was hungry. haha the mini family-ish surprise. it seems suspicious but it fills the heart with fuzziness. appreciate it loads! thanks! =)

the supposed seminar for female leaders that bored us to death within the first 20mins. haha we decided to leave for JUNO. the girl's coversation, the finding out, the sharing. you all make me love social work even more, the passion we share that others view differently. we are going to be GREAT social workers, not just good ones. =) haha its really cute that we all just can't bear to leave. where half hr work its way past dinner to late night. been a long time since i had such sincere sharing. =) thanks!

to count down in the showers. once again, i've ended in that situation. haha it happened for new yr too. rofl. to watch goong till my eyes shut. that was comforting somehow even though i missed my favourite scene.

woke up bright n early to my surprise, waking up to the thought of social work. aided in my start to my counseling assignment. every moment, everyone just warm my heart. i felt like ten thousand pple were celebrating for me, sending well wishes. For me, it is horribly difficult to remember another's bday. my memory fails me in that aspect ALOT of times. to receive ur sms, to know that ur remember carries deep significance for me. i felt appreciated, cared for and LovEd. =) from those whom i've never heard from in eons, from those whom i see in school, from those who are close to my heart, from YOU - my friends. I've always wanted to meet up with everyone for dinner n all, but ' buts' happen to dominate my vocab a lot. i shld stop naturally deriving such excuses. i need to make time. forgive me my frenz.

To run around with you to buy tickets, i got reminded of the times when we were in blues. those times where struggles were of differing levels. where fun was depicted differently. i miss.

having fun at the cafe. pure fun, laughters. pep-no! haha watching L change the world, i laughed. i love that series. deathnote. L was hilarious. L is cute with his black eye liners, bent backed attempting to straighten, n L loves sugar. i love sugar too. dESSERtS!

the jokes, the laughters, the pigging out, the desserts! gosh. i love all your company. your make me glad that i did not spend such a day alone, where bday ought to be celebrated. the cute attempts to hide, it brings many smiles. haha i think i planned too much surprises that sometimes i just can't be oblivious to their attempts. appreciate it, warmth swirls around.

i'm sorry that its such a bother to buy my presents. i'm so fickle abt my own stuff that i'm irritated with myself at times. when pple ask ' what wld u like?', i really have no answers. to me, all of my frenz r like big presents in my life. just that they are not perpetually tied up n wrapped in pretty papers with ribbons. jackets keep me warm! haha oh yeah! i wanted to say that if your can fill up my desktop n lappy with new songs cuz they are pretty outdated!

jacket keeps me warm. esp in central lib! =) zhou jie lun may be a little outdated, but yayness. i still like his songs, even those non emo ones! n KEN HIRAI! i finally found out the title of the song!!! ken hirai was the very first singer that i went crazy for when i was younger, after the group s club 7. such disappointment when his songs crashed with my comp previously! his music n his voice.. woooow!! He makes me smile. my childhood.

i remember jo asked me who is my all time favourite singer. i went blank. think i told her frankie j. but i realise.. its not. haha it all comes back. i love michael buble, jay zhou.

ken hirai will be my all time favourite if i learn japanese. hahahhah now.. i only enjoy the voice n the music.

I'm looking forward to wed. i miss them. i'm looking forward to meet jm n rian. i miss them. i shld try to org a levi's outing. i shld catch up with my bball mates. i needa date my girl frenz whom i haven seen in a long time. i need more time, or at least try to find some. BALANCE. i needa work harder to fit it all in.

i wanna get sweeney todd vcd. haha

the celebrations haven't end.

i love desserts.

oh n if ur really need me to think of what i need.... give me a bit more time. i'll try my best to keep in mind when i see something i want n tell ya all! its difficult for me to think too. haha but i can tell ur the items, pls choose the design. i prefer ur to choose. haha just get what ur feel suits me best. =) i dun like to choose designs.. cuz i'm so fussy i'll irritate myself. rofl. if i were to choose for myself, i have this peeve where it must be IT. but if others get it for me, they are IT to me. =)

i need to put all my head wear into good use. they've been packed in the cold palace for awhile already. its time to greet the sun.

i think sugar might cure my headaches. haha so random.

azaa azaa. kampatei. jia you!

let my wish come true.

Friday, February 15, 2008

Party.

haha it just suddenly struck me that... if i were to org a party.. i shld make it themed "sexy jazz". haha interesting ain't it. oh well. just some sudden random ideas. as usual. haha

big procrastinator.

lost focus. hazed determination. i need to be inspired! grr. n stop slacking. gosh. n reduce japanese drama. n stop dwelling in sweetness. hahahaha yeah me n my happy endings. oh well.. life already lack of happy endings ma, so why watch more show that just illustrate what we have to go through everyday right. hahaha escapist.

yes i needa go study!!! ten thousand essays.

ten thousand thing i wanna blog abt. but whenever i'm by the comp its a blank. rofl.

happy bday feb babies. =)

Tuesday, February 05, 2008

grr

of all times my body chooses to fall ill at this point. grrr.
ahhhh go away germs n bacteria n all the bad illnesses.
i want to enjoy cny!

go away nightmares! yeah i resorted to rewatching goong so that only sweet n happy memories exist when i sleep. haha so dumb. yayness to fairtales n happy ending.

happy cny my dear friends! =)

Saturday, February 02, 2008

Tuesday with Morrie

It was indeed a very good book. good in every aspect...structure, content, emotions and even holds life teaching skills.

However, i still hate death issues. No matter how much it teaches u to embrace it.. parting is never easy. Especially for the love ones who holds the fond memories for the deceased.

Maybe its cause not too long ago, it just suddenly dawned on me that my dad is not young anymore. he's more than elderly already. yet he lives strong. however, the thoughts and fears of death still lurks. Even if he disappointed us gravely previously, the little measure of love provided and shown still shines loud.

Because death draws so much closer, that it makes us treasure life so much more. Us as in mom and i. Even if us three quarrel and bicker and argue a lot a lot, even when the silence plays a deafening tune, we learn to accept and enjoy our times together. even though we don't verbalise it in the direct means, the underlying tones in our bickers and actions screams. thats our communication style. their stubborness versus mine, their understanding of one another. their ample forgiveness. Love. it exists in us.

Its so strong n treasured, that i fear another who invades. who will interfere and shake our stability. i have nightmares of it. they laugh. it makes us stronger.

Misunderstanding occurs, suspicions arose. Eventually, we fall back together. because of the unexplained bond that goes through us. I wanted to ask if we can have a family portriat done together, den again in my family... a family portrait causes uneasiness. where a family unit is not so simple as mom n dad n me. where the lines are blurred.

I love my family. mom dad and me. n snaff. 2nd bro n third with their wives. nephews x3 n a neice. to me... they make up my family. i'm sorry... but family goes beyond the blood connection. to me... its because of the things we've been through since i was alive. because they were a predominant part of my life. because i care abt them much more than others. thats why they are my direct family.

looking forward to reunion. reunions used to create many hidden displeasure. thankfully in recent yrs, happiness rings more. Let us have a reunion this yr that every family deserve, sincere happiness where everyone just enjoy the food and company for the entire night. a reunion that my family deserve after all those ups and downs. a reunion that amplifies our bonding. for us all.

for a family who rarely get a chance to sit together for a meal. lets all enjoy or reunion dinner!

Yu sheng!

Steamboat! =)

Happy Chinese New Yr!