60th storey.

my ear got blocked in the lift. it hurts when the lift came down. but u know... the tv showing them pouring tea from that teapot with those long spouts.. sure was interesting. those sichuan mala-ness burnt my lips n throats. it was good. =)

i hate administrative matters. it drains my mental health. I know they are not pleased with what I've chosen, the ten thousand concerns. Maybe its the passion.. or maybe its just the rebellious streak in me, I still want to go ahead with it no matter how hard the head shakes in disapproval. I really need your support. I do.

At least I know, mom, that you support me in my decision. You are glad that I chose something that I enjoy. You are happy for me. You are not pretending to be supportive. You encourage me to persevere. You recognized the skills that I've learnt. You were keen to hear what I have learnt. You are not bored of my stories and discuss with me abt our perspectives. You keep them private for me. You, whom I've always admired, are right there for me.

Thank you dad, for not objecting to my interest, for giving me the freedom of choice, standing up for my interest. Thank you for your care. I will one day go learn taekwondo or judo to ease your worries. I will fit it into my schedule once it permits.

I know it is not easy. I aspire to NOT burn out. Thank you my cousins, for believing in me, for putting your hard earned money at risk. Thank you for trusting me and looking out for me.

With this, I will work harder.

Talking to my friends the other day, and finding out their impression of me, I have changed. I am glad that in their eyes, I don't have the clubber's face. I am glad that in their eyes, I look like I am in the right aspiration. I am glad that the person I admire recognise my work. Yes.. I am human who needs to know I belong and am doing well.

Meeting up with my previous supervisor makes me realise how much i do love that previous internship. Thank you for making me feel wanted. =) though I know i'm noisy and disturb you all the time then, thank you for teaching me all those valuable learnings and treating me like a friend. Easing my concerns, discussing about our topic of interest. deep down inside.. I feel like returning to it with the official title as you have tempted me... I think I will. =) cause I know I really do want to work with you, side by side, all over again. To be guided by you is a blessing.

The 4th year is going to be a brand new experience. With many new faces while many of those I'm familiar and comfortable with leave for the working world. For those who have graduated, I miss you already. Thus I feel like I want to spend even more time with them. So with that conclusion, I promised to go for the camp. 22nd to 24th February. It will be the last chance of emotional bonding before we embark into a even more treacherous journey, limiting our time to meet.

Of course that is not the only reason though its the last punch to my decision. I know I will learn from the camp, learn from the training to be a better facilitator, personal growth, the fun and experiencing together.

Did you know.. kakashi died? I shall mourn for him. Though I did say previously say i will stop if he dies.. I find that I can't. Because I am addicted to it. I want to know how much another has grown. Maybe cause I've been inspired by his perserverence in reaching his personal goal.

I know its only been the first week of school, but i feel exhausted. Projects have started, 2nd supervisor called, and readings are beginning to pile. I need to work realllly reallly hard.

I miss the girls. twin, I miss you too.

with snaff by my side, i shall start to read.

First day of school.

it was scary.. i was intimidated. but i was interesting.

Sexuality.. imagine walking into a class and suddenly those abstained words related to SEX or SEX itself get thrown in ur face, heads on! with an interesting lecturer that bemuses me as he laughs abt his idea of mockery and his manner of intonation of words just amuses me. the video on coming out was cool. I like the 1st lecture. not sure what is to come in the following... but.. it really wasn't a topic i wanted to study about though the interest in it. lets see what is yet to come.

engine was just about innovativeness.

TR was ultimate madness. we got into groups and have practically started. i hope the group is good. i hope all will be smooth. i hope ideas will generate.. i hope it will all work out.

i feel like there's ten thousand things to do already. i feel the time pressing hard against me, up my throat. my supervisor called, he sounds nice! i'm afraid of the work load, curious about whats in store for me.

more lecture awaits. school has started. my laptop bag is missing, i had to borrow from rah.

i'm keen on social entrepreneurship. its what i always desired for the field. is it time to put it into action? my words into action? i do not know.

i feel small in the big big university as uncertaintly looms.

cranky technology.

my phone refuses to send or receives at times. my msn is refusing me signing in. my fossil watch 1 went flat, fossil watch 2 spoilt, addidas watch strap snapped. that leaves me watch-less. i need to go replace the battery and let it be the sole survivor.

i figured out what i want for bday. i will buy myself a new hp. =) i don't need a present lar.. if u must as i know my closest frenz are all of stubborn breeds like me, ur can contribute to my buying hp funds. ok i already provided a suggestion. dun complain abt me not helping. as for place to eat, maybe dessert bar or anything where i can have desserts will do. maybe.. just maybe i will have dinner at my place for the girls.

so no need to crack ur brains. Enjoy cny! yes i'm blogging it immediately such that i WON'T forget when the time comes. haha

the signatories - last step to my relief.

Grotesque.

thats the book i'm reading. n i'm ADDICTED. haha i have difficulty stopping myself. The addiction shows when I tell myself its time to bid, i must remember to look out for my bus stop, I read with my computer switched on.

heh heh.

I know i'm warped to love reading the experiences of paedophile, prostitution (not too vivid description of sex itself though.. my visuals may be too weak for that) and murders. i admit.. i love to explore about these genres.

Holidays flew past. A balance i think i like. between work n play and catching up with friends. n what coincidence! i bumped into not 1, but 2 bball team members when i was out! coincidences like these make me so excited my words jumbles. hahaha the nolstalgia or maybe the curiousity of how each other have been doing results in rocketing excitements.

I've packed my room! heh heh. proud-est achievement this holz! n i've gotten myself back on track to novels! so i've read "strangers in a strange land" and am crazy abt "grotesque" now. n i haven even gotten the harry potter last book as i wanted to. sighs. after "grostesque", my eyes will be forced fed to theories.

n i haven't caught a single movies in the theatre this holidays! n counting the amt i saved from it.. i feel proud too! though i've been video-ing and dvd-ing and vcd-ing. rofl. esp during precious sleepovers. heh heh. more interactive than the dark dark surroundings of the cold cold theatres.

ok. i feel the urge to return to the parts of the desires of streetwalkers (prostitutes lar).

may take another hundred yrs before i next blog. just came here to rant abt my beloved book. thanks santa lover! =)