kabomb.

the volcano erupted.

usually i will think such inability to control temper is bad n be the neutral party. but in this scenario.. i really can't see myself as neutral. my heart has already taken sides. n i don't hide it. I hope she learnt a lesson that is essential if she does want to progress to be a leader in the future. but such things are not easily learnt.

as for now... it will be difficult to gain our respect and trust.

for i totally understand how another echoed back that once the trust is breached, it is almost impossible for us to bring it back to a higher level. i just hope reputation is not sacrificed. as for me.. dun worry. i usually sleep and forget abt it. haha ok lar... i won't forget everything.. cuz the emotion is something that will be engraved. but yeah... i wont let it bother me. she's not worth my attention. i have better things to tend to. but if she hinders... i might be that next volcano.

oh well. thats more than enough energy waste on her.

bidding started. my nightmare. i hope shuning gets better soon. i really need to sit by my comp this sem to get my modules right. browsing n trying. its all down to luck already. haha oh well. uni is such tough life.

i feel like cutting my hair into short boyish hairstyle. shld i? maybe its too much anime... or just too tired of long hair n feel like getting a change. at most can grow back mar.... n at most look damn ugly for a yr.. or at most look like a boy which i'm pretty much used to being boyish n all. maybe i shld go to the hairdresser n ask for opinion. haha den i better go to a good one. so far the ones i went to.. will prob discourage me from cutting i think.

i love lazing ard at home. gosh.

AHHHH!

i cannot take how things are changing. its beyond me but its too unacceptable for me. now i really crave that my angel will take me to the other side.. of what i think is heaven QUICKLY for current environment is turning into hell.

Now i really appreciate Joanne. not that i never did before.. i mean i do really like her but now i realise how much i prefer her more to that SALES focused person who just destroyed the TEAM. its not wrong to be sales oriented but stop being over ambitious and so demanding. its OVER DONE. do u not get it? you just turned the place into hell. directly or indirectly.

where's my almost perfect little working space?

if this continue to wipe more masks away, i will definitely request to transfer. or even quit. it is way too much. stress is one thing... but to have those whom ur suppose to depend on giving you look as if your snatching their sales? FREAK. I don't care about sales on my list THAT much. I care only abt that $50 i earn extra if we work together and HIT that damn target. go ahead n HIT it yourself if you can. i just lost my respect for you. when i calmed myself down... n trying to help another customer unknowing that you were serving them.. you need not give me that look nor that tone. once was bad, the 2nd time.. its infuriating.

You just spoilt my happy day.

n if sales is that impt.. FINE. next time we can all have stolen and messy stocks. I DON'T give a damn.

oh.. n yeah.. your NOW IN CHARGE. THANK goodness i belong to the super premium. THANK goodness my in charge is lovely kit n jason. THANK goodness that YOUR not the senior. FREAK. yeah you need to DO your sales. we can rot and die.

maybe i'm too much a team person for this. thankfully today i've got lovely customers who ease out all my anger. thanks. they may not have bought but they still made my day. just by being lovely and nice. n funny! hahahah i was damn happy when this customer who look so sloppy had an image changed and actually look rather shuai model like after he put on the jeans n the supposedly too small top. hahahhaha he look good! =)

oh well.. as for her. I'll just take it that its pms. anymore of this nonsense.. i'll demand a transfer. i'm sorry but i just cannot stand such attitude. thankfully i still love all my other colleagues. thankfully there's them who makes me smile. =)

relac relac... sigh.

SOS.

thats the camp i went to! haha i love it! =) i really had fun... like pure fun n i really haven had it for a looooong time! so many camps that carries responsibilities... this was one pure camp that i'm shaken of responsibilities n just being myself. ok without the voice n energy level cuz i'm still recovering. but it was good!

we shared many things abt each other through games! n i love that game of life.. i really felt rich. haha n i like the way we went around looking for 'poor' (they are just my frenz who got to act poor cards like the ah mah selling tissue! she sure was good!) to give them treats! haha we even wanted to take the ah mah to high end hotel for meal but she rejected us.. tell us kopitiam was good enough. of cuz all these were make belief. in real life.. i'm far from the more than enough middle class who can buy many many zara tops n eat many many times at swiss restaurant. rofl. i love that game. the importance of networking learnt. rofl.

than there was war like no others. it was a comapssionate war. haha my gosh i never knew i cld play the stick thing with many soccer man at the arcade life trying to kick the ball. we lost that but it was good fun. rofl. den there was the catch the tail. haha it was fun observing as we can see how everyone approaches to steal the tail. but it was so much friendlier than those i came across at arts camp. at least life was valued n every1 was more concerned for each other's safety. anyway... yeah it was fun observing. there were those who blatently tried to confront each other head on and snatch the tail, others who corner another. Some who tries their best to protect their tail. another who sneak and steal. i like the way they match pairs instead of just plain individual game.

n the volleygame impressed me. how our group tried our best to keep the ball in the air and really enjoyed it! chasing after it like it was a baby abt to land on the floor! haha so fun so fun! n we love getting wet though it was meant to be a punishment.. it was more like luxury for our grp in that hot sun. oh n the captain waterbomb(ball)! haha its funny the way we work but kgoon liang height is super good lar! we got TALL teammates! haha it made me realise how much i missed bball. haiz.

n after the camp... we gathered at macs n discovered so much more. haha that mensa scary lookin tongue! surprise surprise! we got loadsa smart pple in the grp too! i think i shld be the dumbest there like really really! gosh. nvm at least i know i got a grp of smart frenz! haha

basically i love my group... otherwise known as ELLIS.

ok off from camp. i was watching this new anime.. Nodame Cantabiles or something like that! rocks lar! i love that anime. Ouran high sch is better though! haha it made me recall abt my piano lessons. n how much i love music too. just not enough. n dance. n all those fantasy.. n happy ending of cuz. it made me realise how impt the experiences as a child actually affect us. and how in our lives we all need this impt person to make us shine. will i ever be the impt person? i def hope to be considering the career i wanna take. den i wondered... will there ever be an impt person who will make me shine?

at least i know there's an impt dog who makes me feel wanted n loved n bubbly all over. the little girl who snuggles with me for comfort. who loves me for who i am. maybe there's no other person in this harsh reality. the impt person is whom we dream for but rarely do they really exist.

deep within i might just be still a little girl who craves for everything good n get easily pleased. maybe i've been using all these CBT on myself so often that i find it so manipulative and start to hope i need not use it on another. maybe its good... but who is sure.

at least i know there's a little boy who thinks i'm p-r-e-t-t-y. =) haha i'm such a little girl. =P n thats enough. i think. its impt to know that ur liked n wanted i guess. even if its a little boy.

smilez.

Artisans are the temperament with a natural ability to excel in any of the arts, not only the fine arts such as painting and sculpting, or the performing arts such as music, theater, and dance, but also the athletic, military, political, mechanical, and industrial arts, as well as the "art of the deal" in business.

Artisans are most at home in the real world of solid objects that can be made and manipulated, and of real-life events that can be experienced in the here and now. Artisans have exceptionally keen senses, and love working with their hands. They seem right at home with tools, instruments, and vehicles of all kinds, and their actions are usually aimed at getting them where they want to go, and as quickly as possible. Thus Artisans will strike off boldly down roads that others might consider risky or impossible, doing whatever it takes, rules or no rules, to accomplish their goals. This devil-may-care attitude also gives the Artisans a winning way with people, and they are often irresistibly charming with family, friends, and co-workers.

Artisans want to be where the action is; they seek out adventure and show a constant hunger for pleasure and stimulation. They believe that variety is the spice of life, and that doing things that aren't fun or exciting is a waste of time. Artisans are impulsive, adaptable, competitive, and believe the next throw of the dice will be the lucky one. They can also be generous to a fault, always ready to share with their friends from the bounty of life. Above all, Artisans need to be free to do what they wish, when they wish. They resist being tied or bound or confined or obligated; they would rather not wait, or save, or store, or live for tomorrow. In the Artisan view, today must be enjoyed, for tomorrow never comes.

Artisans make up between 15 to 20 percent of the population, which is good, because they create much of the beauty, grace, fun, and excitement the rest of us enjoy in life.

The Four types of Artisans are:

Promoters (ESTP) | Composers (ISFP) | Crafters (ISTP) | Performers (ESFP)

http://www.advisorteam.com/temperament_sorter/register.asp?partid=1

success...?

one of my customer bid me farewell saying that i'm sure to be successful. i cld only say thanks n feel glee abt it. it made me wonder... will i really be successful?

den it resulted into a chain of thoughts. what is success? success in materialist manner is riches but in the line that i wanna be in... its rare. n what will social worker term success? a customer service assistant will term success as best assisted their customers to get what they want in the most efficient way, or another may think of it as getting promotion into higher post, or achieving highest sales. everyone views success differently. am i a successful CSA? there are days when i feel 'success' n others which i feel miserable at. however, i feel that everyday my goal is different. but everyday its impt to be happy with what i'm doing. that is tough to achieve. isn't it?

as an undergrad, what is success? to achieve first class honours? thats so unachievable for me. to get a 2nd class upper is a blessing already. luck is highly impt to achieve that too. its not all abt hard work.. at least i don't think it is. to successfully get the right modules is impt. but what is 'right'? we'll never know till we finished the term. i guess.. to me its impt to at least graduate with that degree. or maybe for now.. i'm aiming for a 2nd class honours. i hope.

as a tutor, what is success? the child scoring all a's, or maybe getting their interest in the subject. or maybe just improvement? i can't decide. it seem to link but its so hard to create a bond or to make the child realise the importance of everything now. to understand them n yet encourage them as an adult.. it all seem so wrong suddenly. what is 'right'?

as a dancer.... oh there's no dancer now. it disintegrated. it made me realise how deprive i actually am.

overall... i still deem the happy emotion is impt. yet optimism is highly connected to that feeling isn't it? its hard to be happy in the complex world that we live in. its hard to be happy and RICH in this self suffocating society. yet its so important to dream.

i don't believe in prince despite my love for fantasies.

oh n i'm watching akazukin cha cha. my childhood companion. =)

animated visuals.

reFreshed.

the whole system warn n collapsed. it took a freaking whole week n stripping all down to the core. pouring loadsa drugs into it and visited the professional.. THRICE. freaking shit. n a whole week of sleep. the world seem like a dream in that week.

walked to work, feeling as though one was walking clouds. where those banners seem like angels with shopping bags, so bright so bright. the path that seem never ending, and the legs so light. the place that seem to be so familiar, yet so raw. sleep beckoned n waved. n was interrupted by coughs.

oh well, now i'm back from the not so lala land. haha oh they call here earth. so say hi to cors, work and socialization.

that week was half lala cuz the times awake was spent crunchyrolling.

OURAN HIGH SCHOOL CLUB anime ROCKS the lala world! my gosh!!!! i never laughed so much for an anime n it sure is uniquely hilarious! i love the entire thing! its so different from all the other animes! so many good looking characters i dont know which 1 i love better! n the pictures, those animated/drawn n described expressions!!! haha everything was so easily child-readible. i mean they don't use big words but its all portrayed. i never have to guess the ambiguity of those 'common' words that everyone shld understand but noone truly gets. i love the personalities of all the characters, the depth the true n the pureness.

ok simply put-> its totally MY FREQUENCY. haha yeah sometimes if ur don't understand my mind... maybe... just maybe ur can get a wee bit of idea whats in my mind. the theatres. haha

oh well.. when ur down in bed.. nothing in the mind to blog. n nothing is coherent. everything is back to child-mind. yeah n my childhood is spent with the tv. so pardon my absence n inactive in chatting sessions(msn n all). n i was strictly warned by my doc to MINIMISE talking. haha

when everything seems like a dream, one gets a different picture of everything else.

my gosh i feel like watchin ouran high sch again. haha this is the first time i actually intend to watch a full thing again! gosh. haha

i miss the outing with the girls today. sorry! really wanna catch up with ur but the fear of relapse.... grrrrrr..... lets meet up with soon for meal or something k!

illness def made some plans delay. n made the cash of pay day less. sigh.

lalaland.