+ and -.

ok so much happened in my life. n i bet many happened in urs too.

twin had to go through the torment of having a loved one depart eternally. such depression. knowing it is good but seperation always bring intense aches. no one to blame and only those remaining to share support and comfort. every1 else will live on.

take care twin. there's too much load on u. share it k. dun let it overwork u.

than there was the re-shufflement list. i'm staying at heeren. n i love it. but i'm sad as well cuz jing is in ps, mischa is gonna be there too. jac is stationed at lucky. i will miss them loads. michelle will be gone to centre point n she's gonna quit. haiz... new senior n new part timer coming in. oh well... i dunno to feel happy or sad. i will miss all of them loads.

receiving the acceptance letter from nus was my greatest reward for everything. the torment i went through that day when i knew letters were received by my other frenz.. i lost appetite, my emotions at all lows, genuine laughters coughed, drained and weak. n my mom tricked me for a split moment bringing all my hopes lower. however everything turned out well for me. the letter that i was waiting for in all my education yrs arrived. haha overjoyed. its a desire achieved and a desperation satisfied.

i know some of my frenz have yet to receive it.. i wish them well. i want all of them to be welcomed into the school as they wanted it too. i'll hope extremely hard n hope harder that my bday wish will come true.

celebration doesnt seem appropriate suddenly.

hearing the guys talk about ns was sure interesting. though its only a few of us.. but it was good enough.. EXCEPT FOR THE WAIT. ok maybe cuz i realise how precious time is now. now that i'm working and every minute is valued. where my off days are just never enough. n that money is equally important for survival. especially when i'm working at a place that is highly Overworked and Underpaid. i need a new job but i love my current job. so maybe if my current job can offer me a higher pay and that will be perfect. however in life, nothing is perfect. heeren is a good place to work at.

ok i just got pay today. n spent half of it away. usually i wld say heartaches.. but not now. cuz its all deserving pressies. haha just that i prob have to diet for the next mth. lose weight n not shop. haha i hope they all like the pressies though. takes so much effort to do shopping for others... i'm tired. its the beginning of another mth n i'm gonna proclaim i'm broke. my gosh... i need higher paying job. haha man are never satisfied. n now i know it. oh well.. its me who chose time over money n i told myself i will not regret it. n i wont.

forgive me if i mia more often than usual recently. let me be caught up in my fantasy of hogwarts for awhile. i need some time for myself of which i found at night on my bed. so i sacrificed the time on msn with frenz. sorry.. i'll finish the bk asap n get right back online to chat.

lookin forward to tan on wed.

borderline.

sometimes.. i wonder if i shld give up. call it escapism n whatever shit. maybe my lack of interest... haiz.. but pointe work.... sigh.

so once again i got a blister as big as a 50 cent coin. shit.. pain pain n more pain. n seriously... intermediate.. i just suck at it lar. so many shit to learn... n so little time. passing it seems so unattainable.. talk abt my desired distinctions.

just how much work am i willing to put in? plus i needa diet along with that, plus a lot of exercise n toning of my fats. shit.. i'm just too lazy.. or food is just too seductive.

n i calculated my pay.. miserable 340 bucks. haha okok good thing is 160 from tuition is coming in to tide me over. sigh.. i need to spend less! but all the free time is much welcomed. like i finally saw mokey today. had a good chat! cookies n milkshake, a drop n a sip. engines.. haha tuning.. oh my.. haha that girl is still as horny as ever! rofl. i miss her loads lar. i miss every1 loads. i miss t09. i miss the centre row. i miss all our shit.

eh.. ur wanna take a 3day2night trip to malaysia? short trip to chill n play ard?! maybe the beach, to play paintball, go kart etc etc, n maybe a bit of shopping just that i may be too broke to spend. haha the coaches looks really cool!

oooh n i just realise why my new colleague-kenny look so familiar... HE LOOKS LIKE REUBEN (my god bro who never treats me like a girl) ! haha n i only recongnised it from the way he was eating! n the more i look like him the more i get reminded of my god bro! their laughter n behaviour! but just that he more shy kind.. n bro is act shy. rofl. haha n bro more rough etc... ok lar.. i'm beginning to miss that stupid reuben too. rofl.

n tmr is re-shufflement list. n i really dun wanna get reshuffled. i love working at the heeren. i just made frenz with receptionist, the security guard, the next door neighbour like citychain and fossil. plus gonna make frens with swatch too! n i love our small little shop. grr.. oh well. will see what happens.

plus uni acceptance. sianz... i think i leave wrong impression on smu.. as for nus.. please accept me! i'm desperate to be accepted there! haha rofl.

sch, work... life.

Take the lead.

SO HOT! haha thats the word. i wanna learn latin ballroom. so hot so hot. n i'm only beginners 1! will work on it! salsa in the park. rofl. it was fun.

i've been askin around on pple's views of platonic friendship again! haha just my little curioustiy on pple's feelings.. cuz sincerely i'm a strong believer of platonic friendships.

maybe some may differ in their point of view from mine. Looking at guys as a future prospects is just not me. i believe equal treatment between guys and girls. just because they can be future prospects shld not influence and deter a potential buddy!

As for a potential future cominrg out frm a good fren of the opposite gender, should be left for time and fate to take its course i guess. The only danger is that it may spoil the friendship or maybe end up a 1 sided love that hinders and hurt the most treasured friendship. Then again, it depends on how both decides to handle the issue to maintain the friendship right? i'm glad i maintained mine.

Others may not agree with me but this is a free world with clashing perspectives. i cant control how others look at me with their perspectives but as what my mom will say, as long as i'm comfortable, other's views should not interfere. Maybe its cause i really have quite a few good platonic frenz thats y i feel like that, and maybe cause most of the times i click better with guys or those considered more 'boyish' in nature. imagine if u look at every1 as prospects, i think i'll have a lot of potential les partnars! rofl. beware u girls!

ok change topic.

i thank my hair stylist! THANKS GIRL! haha u should see her works and let me know how u feel! though twin will have prob telling the difference.. i hope i dun get blacklisted at work though! haha if they blacklist me i'll quit ok! haha

i cant wait for friday night. heh heh oh no i'm addicted. so so addicted. soon we'll have to upgrade our shoes. heh heh so fun so fun!

add some punk to the hot.

salsa-licious.

planning.

so once again i'm being the organiser. what a familiar job. haha but i'm not paid to do it.. but friends are priceless mar... so i'll rather do the job than to have them all slowly drift far far away to neverland.

den again.. this seems more tough than doing organising in school cuz every1 is busy with work. full day activity.. seems so impossible.

i want to go tanning, i want to rollerblade, i want to kbox, i want to just sit down n talk shit with u all! do u?

i havent seen jo in a looong time. i only manage to catch short conversation with wing. I'm glad a few of us are meeting on tues. n i will see rah on FRIDAYS! rofl.

i need to fit in the t9 girls first... den after this.. i'm gonna put family n marian n jm into my schedule.. 1 by 1... oh my. i miss every1!

ok i'm going crazy... n i feel so damn hardworking. i actually went to esplanade n borrowed books on ballet. but i need it. now it feels so weird to see all the french words spelt out. its like.. i know them but reading them is major difficulty! haha n the way the bk puts all the pronounciation is damn cute. Cou-de Pied = koo-duh-pee-AY. lol

i need haircut.

we're a part, not apart.

this is a lingo of an ad that caught my attention. a lingo that made me think about literature, about the significance of the words "a part" and "apart". how interesting it means and looks.

and that reminds me of school, of cjc, of t09. just how 'apart' we have been.

so.... a series of ideas came flying in and out of my mind.

we blame, we find excuses
no matter how clear the cause
refusing to admit
the reason behind part.

reality is survival,
at least it is in our society
so does it mean love is faint
or maybe meant only for one.

not that the others are undesirable
but do we have time?
try is weak
fulfilling is demanding.

preference is strong,
neglecting as unavoidable
difficult an easy word
do they care?

absence makes the heart fonder,
semi-truth but just how long?
how long before contact
distant like poles?

platonic undermined
makes trivial
of sacred friendship
that many claims significant.

one will blur the line
or maybe two or three.
the effects it brings,
brings fear beyond prediction.

17th marks reshufflement of levi's crew. i dread it. jing got transferred to ps. lth is gonna be torn apart. i like workin in heeren, but will i stay? no one knows.. i'll miss her. but she'll get to enjoy good food everyday!

so i'm thinkin of pickin up 1 or 2 more tuition. but its so tough to find a suitable assignment. maybe i'm not trying hard enough.. but seriously i think i barely have time for frenz. despite being a part timer.. i'm still as busy as ever. n i've yet to meet up with 'family', yet to meet up with wing n jo, yet to meet up with jm n rian, yet to meet up with jun nor suling... so many i've yet to meet.

mom's bday is this fri... its good fri n i'm on morn shift. but doubt i'll spend it with her.. shall let her n dad have some time on their own. but i got her birkinstock.. $159. costly but it doesnt pain my heart, at least i'll know she'll be in comfy wear. =) haha i think my mom n i have a habit of not spending our bdays with each other.. she abandoned me on mine.. now i shall abandon her. just kidding.. haha we just dun have the habit of spending it together.

missing element.

Perhaps love.

it isnt as good as i expected it to be. maybe its too much love for me. to me its quite dumb.. maybe cuz love is dumb. haha

i still think chicago is better! its coming on tv so watch it!

btw this is just my opinion.. i know pple will beg to differ n others might not enjoy chicago. but i do! i love it.. i love it for its dance, i love it for its music, i love it for its storyline. perhaps love... just lack dance, familiar music and i not my type of storyline. haha

now i'm wondering if i shld get west side story.

i love musicals. moulin rouge is definitely a much better love story to me.

btw this coming tues, sat n next tues i got no ballet class! heh heh. i'm feeling lazy but it also means i gotta do some jogging n keep fit plus lose weight. haha n it doesnt help if pple keep on feeding me! but i still love the food. date me out! any1 wanna blade on sat or something? i'm craving....

i love musicals.

The hills have eyes.

ok so now i understand why the papers rave abt the show. it sure is good... it made me think. However, the show also created a flash back of a very likely deja vu for me. maybe i did catch the previous version before, because the scene where the petrol station guy gunned himself in the loo is all too familiar- the despair, the pain. same for the father who was flamed.

well if i did catch it before, i'm quite sure i must have watched it through pillows or fingers. the grosteque is beyond what i can tolerate with my "naked" eyes. haha i apologize to yt for smacking her nose due to my fear, i hope i didnt cause further harm. i apologize to jason for all the roughness cuz he was unlucky to end up sitting on my right (my right side is more sensitive... tends to grab n who knows what). I apologize (if the person actually come across this blog) to the person in front whom i shocked with my legz. i really cant help it n i didnt even realise that my legs were creating a disturbance.

n twin.. STOP LAUGHING! =P

So the show highlighted to me how one can actually turn violent to defend, to protect.The wife who gave up her body to humiliation so her baby will not get shot. And the father who refuses to even hold a gun initially ending up to be a killer, attacking the vital point of another life-the head, just to protect his infant.

n i'm wondering, what has ruby gotta do with the petrol station guy? some1 enlighten me pls. she seems like a good character, then again, what does that ear symbolise? a craving for more? is she THEIR messenger?

n just how did these pple turn cannibal? from being deprived of proper food? but the petrol station managed to be stocked up with food. Or just from hatred, hatred of every1 who looks "normal". hatred because the "normal" pple decides to abandon them. flaws? or just missing information from the show? or maybe its just for us to interpret.

but they sure are disgusting horny bastards. den again, they must be really deprived. n they probably are ammoral. what can be moral about cannibals right? haha

ok i'm gonna be late for sticky rice meeting if i continue though i will really like to. i still have a lot of comments on the show. heh heh. its a good movie. a good movie i like depite the gore. its a gore that keeps me thinking. n i like the dogs names.. 'beauty' and the 'beast'. haha next time i shld get 7 dogs n name them after the 7 dwarfs. rofl.

ooh n i didnt get nightmare from it! just v stoned.. haha

so its 1 movie down.. about.. 9 more to go!

treasure ur loved ones.

Freed.

I'm officially a part timer.. but somehow.. it still seems as busy. haha maybe cuz its just the beginning of it. =) at least i get to spend time with family on sunday, even managed to send snaffee for grooming! now she's botak. heh heh. She's just so adorable.

for dunno whatever reason.. i'm craving for rollerblading. maybe its cuz i'm craving for any form of exercise. i wanna play bball too..

ok so now its my duty to join the group that compromise with others schedule.. but theres 1 prob. this group is starting to have their schedule.. oh my. n the guys are entering into ns. besides tuition job is starting to keep me occupied.

i'm enjoying tuition for some weird reason. haha brian can be mischievious n exasperating to teach but completing something with him brings me joy.

n i still need to spend more time on my dance.. i hate pointe work. haha i will fail my exams cuz i fail pointe work. how irritating can that be.

so now my pay will be cut by half so every1 pls remind me not to overspend. THAT is highly important. or find me a rich old dying man. hahhahaha

time to pack my chaotic room. n time to arrange to meet more pple! =)

i miss every1!