flying bugs.

bugs tagged onto me. n once again i fell victim to these irritating bugs termed -VIRUS! shit. and like what yt said, troops of bugs indeed came knocking at my door. my tap refuses to be turned off, n it feels as though catapillars are running up and down my throat. n yeah.. i sound freaking nazal-ish sexy. just so great right? haha "so sexy for my love". yeah right.

do not count the no. of times that i have fallen ill this yr. its uncountable.

n yeapz.. looking forward into life, n i see a clown holding a sign "prelim greets u"! and i feel like a kid running away in fear from this clown. for i do not have my guidance, am not mentally prepared and lack all knowlege. so once again, i'm like a lost child who have tears brimming at the eyes, about to wail. Except i'm no longer a kid who can easily cry to solve a problem.

today is teachers day. i havent sat through a concert which was so boring in such a long time. i'm sorry if i did offend, but it was seriously boring me. and i thought teachers day is suppose to be a joyous occasion, so why the sad songs? and "kiss me" is definitely inapt on such a day. at least i look at some of the teacher's face and saw that i was not the only one who feels that way.

ooh and great positioning for i'm sure i can look through the concrete wall. they place our class behind the wall. so guess what i saw the whole time? "happ (wall wall wall) y!" and it was only when i stood up then i realise that it was "happy teachers day!". so great- i saw "happ" and "y" only.

however the class never fails to amuse me n bring laughter to my life. i love every1 in the class, my good pals and even those who are not exactly on my "favourite" list, but i love them all! =) the sharing of joy and sorrow, the balance, the understanding, the everything. they are the 2nd group of pple who have sincerely touched my life.

i'm a lucky girl who found love in the futility of life. the care and concern from each and every1 of my good friends telling me to take care. Rah, Jo, Char, bird bird, Yt, twin, tokkie, sherlyn, joyceh.

as what i was saying when i was with jo, i wish that t9 will never disperse that easily n feel uneasy to turn up for meetings in the future. and like what jo replied, we will not disperse easily, and that a few of us close friends will definitely remain bonded together more than the others.

ok words are jumbling up in front of my screen as the drowsy effect of med is tainting my brain. Take care every1. good luck for exams, and those having prelims on this fri (oh and that means me as well).

if horoscope tells u that pisces enjoy gd health this yr, u are cheated.

pining.

For how long have we attempted
to schedule a meeting session
yet school, work, progress
have deprived us of reunion.

The laughter we shared
over our childhood days
the irreplacable companion
aileen remains insane.

Then i went for 3 mths holiday
in a strange environment
however a company unforgettable
which significantly taught me more.

The combination of extreme wildness
jm, marian, simon, shifu and more
wisdom exceeds compilation of literature
an unerasable illusion.

Then advancement was of another sphere
the imperfection reveals
but hard times allow appreciation
thus true friends found.

Few but important
the true puppies among the foxes
for ella and yt
were then my sole companion.

A life turning decision
thin line between happiness and regret
never was there a tinge of remorse
about the gigantic retreat.

Landed in the comfort of t9
the understanding from rah jo char wing twin
shared interest in family of angel, joyceh, kj n yan
thanks for enriching my life.

The vitality of friendship
comfort, reassurance, hilarity
the never ending stories
appreciated and treasured.

I love you all

a poem of no subtle substance n pure sincerity. i guess too much muses and understated poems have squeezed my brain dry, all thanks to my new date- robert frost. however i'm beginning to understand what he means n its really fascinating. though sometimes... i feel that he really thinks too much and thus lived his life in distress.. maybe he liked it that way.

ok if i'm missing in action, i'm mugging. rare but true. with my low grades n high expectations.. i better start to mug. and hope that a miracle happens for my short term memory.

i miss all my close friends, i really do. n i'm sorry for being in a world of my own now, sorry abt how i let school n exams be an excuse and neglected you all. pls forgive my absence.

churning myself into a mugger crocodile now.

rotten insides.

the red and luscious,
with no signs of flaw,
bringing only positive praises,
all expects more.

sitting there looking perfect
tempting the 1 before
gorgeous looking apple
let the teeth plunge and crunch.

the night falls
the teeth reaches
crunch crunch crunch
till the sight of yellow brown flesh.

hesitate.. yet desired,
should she stop her crave
or get decieved by the interior,
do not judge an apple by its cover.

that is how things are
the beautiful which hides
thou rotting core
its life- our system, system.

i watched " the company" yesterday night, ok i know your gonna ask what is it.. its actually a movie on ballet dance troupe. about ballet. i wouldnt say its the best movie, but it is a good movie on the life of ballarinas. yeah we all do have rotten/ugly toes though hidden by the beautiful pointe shoes that enhances the grace.

It justs add to the point, behind everything beautiful is an ugly truth.

and i looked at my toes, it has indeed turned quite hedious due to all the blister scars. i'm just thankful that it is not black. ok n seriously, behind the graceful moves, it is not only the toes that are rotten.. there are more to it.

Ok abt the rotten apple.. i really did ate an rotten apple which looks really nice, red and tasted crunchy only to realise it was rotten after i finished 1/2 of it. that explains my diahoreaa this morning.

i've decided to try and stay for night study and begin setting a pace for books and work. wish me luck. ooh.. n its animes, movies, going out and break in the weekends. i give myself life.. ok lar.. not much.. some.

whats beautiful?

totally vulnerable..

to the tune of music. i always thought i love musicals for its dance, but i thought wrong. its the music i'm addicted to... the music that appeals.

i know that i notice the tune of music quicker than the lyrics, in fact sometimes i totally neglect the lyrics. Yet i failed to realise why i love musicals.. not for the dance.. but for the music. people like movies and form of entertainments that they can relate to, being able to experience many forms of emotions is a luxury in the short time frame.

I wondered y is it that i get shaken to tears most of the time during musicals, when i'm usually quite good at controlling tears. Now i finally understand that its cause i've lost my utmost control in my emotions, n it ran wild along with the music. the tunes conquered my heart. i never knew i was that tightly bounded by music.

but there are good music n bad music, n it is due to perception of the person to define "good" and "bad". To me, Cole Porter is 1 marvellous composer with wit.

ok i went mad yest, i spent $69 (discounted n with offers) on vcds.. total of 7 shows. all musical or dance related.. except cleopatra which was purely for lit. haha all pretty old musicals n shows.. but i love them n bought them without much hesitation n no regrets. Bring it on, De-lovely, Cleopatra, billy elliot, the company (ballet movie), Cats, The sound of music. i'm crazy.

but de-lovely did made me think- will u prefer ur husband to get involved in gay affairs or with another woman? haha that prob made it an m18 show. he he he

I hate being vulnerable. but i love musicals. irony in myself. i'm ironic pointing out the ironies.

de-lovely.

turning into a squid,

sotong. first, i lost my wallet on the bus and only realise the loss like an hr later when i needed to take cash from there. if not i'll never realise the missing wallet till break time. den i dropped it without realising, luckily charlene saw it n picked it up. thanks char n rah n jo n wing for all the concern! esp rah for accompanying me to pick up my wallet! thanks!

n i thought that was all.. until i realise i bought 50 pieces of blank writable cds that were not suitable for my computer. n today, i bought the wrong scent of talcum powder much to my dismay. oh well.. maybe i'm getting senile.

flashback.
careers day, nope my ambition did not get waivered but i found 2 other new career that i'm interested in. 1 is hospitality, the sector of organising, and the other is police dog trainer. ha ha ha laugh at me but i'm serious. so do not disturb me or i might just send the german shepherd after u. he he

do not remind me about mock. great there is still 1 more nex sat.

national day celeb tml as the country turns 40 on tues.. hope tml will be pretty cool n yay! shall go watch charlie and the chocolate factory! hehe..

other than that.. back to me n my books. n the teachers. i'm desperate already. i'm scared.

a nerd squid.

this is hilarious!

Mark Lai is a handgun that vibrates! It can be programmed to perform simple tasks and vibrates.
that makes my twin a VIBRATING GUN! in short/connotations: ViBraT-oR! ROFL

ps: i'm sorry i did not get every1's data. cuz i was lazy to copy and paste! go check out from the link from my previous post k(Click "so what are you")! have fun! haha

98 days.

great. i feel so insecure, so uncertain. Suddenly time is working against me. 98 days to set my OOE to ABC? and a d7 to b3? i can just dream and wish.

i could curse and swear at everything, but i choose not to. afterall i'm a optimist. if jaimes didnt constantly remind me about my slowness, me being hardworking and almost unworth efforts, it wouldnt have make me want to work harder. cuz maybe i really am retarded and its not an insult but a fact about my intelligence. it makes me realise how little i have done despite the seemingly quantity, realise how slow it takes me to generate and recall all information and writing in the supposedly "right" skills. furthermore, i am constantly reminded about my extremely short term memory that requires me to put in much more effort than the smarter beings around me. oh well.. the multiplier effects of my flaws.

tomorrow is careers day. i guess the day to waiver my decision of being a social worker. maybe i am really unsuitable to be 1. maybe i should just quit school and ease my mom's burden. den again, if i do that, it will add on to her emotional burden which is supposedly much worst. bounded by relationships of life. Yeah u can say that i'm not living for myself and turn into the big topic of me being an idiot, but it is my intuition and concience that makes me work this way and they are much more domineering than every other emotions of mine.

ok enough about myself. i sound like a retarded self centred freak. n i was talking about pinter's play of the flaws of humans just this afternoon. seriously, literature has changed me.

selina is a robotic dog that plays MP3s!
and what are you?
how apt. i love music, n i *er hemz* them thus my abundance of mp3s. n i love dogs. n i love technology. wow. ruff ruff. maybe they shld call me a dancing robotic dog and that will be just perfect.