the end.

practise does make the difference. the illness took me away frm my "revision" thus the bad result in that sector. everything else was on the spot performance. flashed past me that i cannot remember what happened. the last few seconds. such a small time frame but the most significant complications occur. i did wish the last underbasket shot she took went in, n was caught unprepared for the rest, thus my misfortune. fumbling for the bball, and the next moment both collided, i remember rolling backwards for safety and was intending to get up, but a jab in the head and the vision of 1 soaring over me greeted the confused me. my retarded reaction-pain.

was that a kick? i will never be sure and never will be.

the nex few moments was a whirl, figuratively and literally. my head pounds, the world slanted. escorted to the side with eruptions of "are you alright?". i think i nodded. i didnt know where i was heading, and i only remembered retardedly tripping over the bench and crashed. stupidity. but all went well later. dun worry i'm alright. really.

dun scare me with the seriousness of head injuries... but do send me to the hospital if i do show signs of mental disorder(much worst den my current case) or start to forget important stuff, esp if its a person and she falls on my most impt list. as for now.. i'm sane.

the significance of change in layout. the progress away frm what bounded most of my life in college.

the start.

nudging skull.

The "ah hem", the scraping of throat when saliva travels, the increase in warmth, swirls. tis what happens when one attempt to worn the body out with strainious activities when its not strong. determination can be a double edge sword.

the intentions differ the good and evil. many reasons to an act: superficiality for selfish reasons, cover up to reduce worries, fascade to prevent further decline of optimism. it all depends on the desire and personalities of the protagonist.

so much of a fascade such that trust is being bleached. test the ability to trust, who can we really trust?

life been pretty ok. retardededness during an important event, make my stupidity the highlight. redemption is never easy. wear out the sanity of one, squeeze out the maximum capacity of energy. but friendship took the pessimism several steps towards optimism over again. thanks peeps! i really appreciate it!!

thanks to mokey, rah rah, char.. sorry that i've been rather down.. lack the energy to bring my own spirits up... n i know that when i'm sick i'm actually quite stupefied.. so appologies if i scare ur or sumthing!

n not forgettin our new formed family.. theres daddy, xiao hei and da bai, dino and chubby!! thanks for all the concern! sorry i cldnt join ur for bball practise! hope it went well.. dun give up okiez.. muz jia you for our next match! perserverence.. hope all of us r on form!!

external factors worsening the nudge.

lost rationality when i lost my beloved,

she was waiting. waiting for me to get money to buy her tidbits, waiting for me to bring her for a walk. my dad was attempting to fix stuff-hammer, nails and wood. wearing her doggy tag she hopped around, waited outside my door for me.

"PANG, PANG, PANG!" goes the hammer. "Snaffeeeeee?".

-silence-

"Snaffee!?!?", and only the banging filled the air.

i seeked high n low in the hse. i ran out to realise the small gate outside was opened n my dad busy at work. both my mom n i panicked. I dash down the stairs, to the ground level n there was no sign of her. i ran to the garden in front of my block, where is my little beloved? frantically dashed back to the blk, my mom came down n helped to look. my mind whirl round n round.

"arf ArF! arf Arf!" we all heard. but where did it come from?!

I thought, n followed my intuition. i remembered the bang. i know her fear, i know her reaction. I dashed up d stairs from the ground floor to the 9th. 18 flight of steps. i walked along the connected corridors of the 9th floor. 3 different sections on my left, another 3 on my right. intuition: left.

1st section, the cleaner washing. 2nd section, she's not there. i called down the steps n waited. no reaction. i didnt know abt the 3rd section. the bigger garden dat we frequent. i ran to the lift. ran to the park. a pomeranian with its little owner. no shih tzu. i saw my mom, she was equally helpless. dashed to the car park at the other side n asked ard. "nopez" was all the ans received. despair, depressed, desperate. I called sarah hoping she was on her way home frm cedans n can help me look out.. sorry if i worried u.. i really didnt want to.. i hesitated.. but i was desperate. i'm really sorry if it affected u at cedans! but thanks! i really appreciated it!

the familiar faint "arf arf" came again. i cldnt trace it. ran to the route to serangoon gardens. ran to the garden several blks in front again n combed. no snaffee. dashed back. desperate. i took the lift of my blk to the 9th level. my mom combed the market. i dunno y, but i always end up at the left wing of the 9th floor. sumhow a force is drawing me to the rear end. decided to walk to the rear end n hope i dun peek into a family hse instead of the stair ways. i walked cautiously, approaching. i peeked my head past the protuding walls.

she was lying there 1 flight above. in a stance that she was abt to run when i turned in to the stairways. but she nudge low n wag her tail profusely when she saw me. climbed up to her n carried her. she nudge her head up cosily next to mine n licked me.. my tears rolled. i never felt so relieved, never felt so stable, never felt so comforted. i didnt even know that i climbed our hse stairs frm 1st to 9th abt 3 times. never realise i ran the 2 gardens near my hse twice. didnt realise i kept calling for her like a lunatic. n i know i wld haf gone on n on without knowing whats tired, without knowing whats pain in the legs and without knowing where to head. irrationality.

i think she felt the same way as i did. being all alone n waiting. calling but cldnt find her way. she didnt travel too far away frm me when i took her for a walk. she stayed close to me constantly. she feared too. i never felt so lost. truly understood irrationality.

pls dun let me experience this again. i fear. at least i'm lucky this time, to find her. to know she wasnt taken away, to know that she was waiting, to know that she is SAFE. i love her. we love her. never want to experience this again. i wldnt know what wld become of me if i didnt find her. i'll prob break down, change. i dont know.

i hope my dad will be more careful with the small gate. but its not his fault.. accidents. i believe he will. he was listening out for her bark n confirmed my intuition that she was at the left wing of my flat. i thank every1, everything for helpin me find my darling. fate, coincidences, intuition, understanding, love, god.. everything! thanks!

oh well.. tml is the tournament. hope we do win. hopez..! jia you!! hope my 140 practice shots are not wasted. hope i am on form. hope the whole team is on form. oh yeahz! congrats to oc-to-puss and mokey for getting into finals! jia you!! i shall go ease my emotions now. still shocked my my trauma.

thankfully both returned right into my arms.

extreme emotions.

my feelings fluctuated from 1 end of the rope to another throughout the week. ptm created an uproar in me. Teammates cure my doubt and took me to the cheerful end. Worries for my 2 good pals circulated my whole mind (hope u all sort out d complications of emotions). Some arguments between the related wore me out but now settled. And the lost of my wallet make me fall into a deep deep hole of sadness. Then it all ended off with a super nice being (whom I wld have prob referred to as stranger) did me a very good deed by sending my treasured item right to my door step! Society isn't that evil after all!

my worst and best times all crammed into a week. rollercoaster rides.

thanks rah rah for always being there! attemptin to cheer me up and all.. very sorry abt my horrendous attitudes due to my irrational concortion of emotions.. loVe Ya!!

to the eva entertaining n caring mokey who also had to bear with my nonsense emotions! Sorry if I made ya worried n all. Hope the intensity of the situation and feelings lightened and that ur sheltered with bliss! and ThAnKz girl!

the super down twin, pls cheer up. know i cant do anything much but i dun wanna u to dwell any deeper. dont blame urself, share the worries. life is full of ups and downs. cheerioz twin.. n thanks for alwayz being there.. n calling me numerous time attempting to wake me up frm my beauty slp on the table!! haha or i will really get stiff neck the very next day! thanks!!

YenHui + debra + those who lost their treasured possesion. I hope some justice will be done. the pain of losing the items are unbearable, hope they return miraculously somehow. goodwill in society as well as few who succumbs to evil temptation. cheer up every1!

FrIeNds.
what do u define as thee
some tries to keep it up
others r more non chalent.
friendship or acquaintance?

treat it like a cure for loneliness,
identify it with concern,
chore to be accomplished.
a title, a status or love?

a deep feeling within
showered with understanding
interaction and communication.
who are considered true friends?

we joke and play
understand and appreciate
share the love and joy.
these are friends.

Encourage during intensity
stood beside as an angel
treasure n comprehend within.
Few, are more than friends.

I made a Quiz for you! Take my Quiz! and then Check out the Scoreboard!

something stupid frm the un-focused.