RuBb1sH decides that it is time to start mugging real hard so will not blog as often as b4... promos end on nex nex wed for the main papers... mean while.. sorry for the stagnent blog for 2 weeks...

highlights:
Jo bdae was simply marvellous... loadsa fun.. but i really haf no time to blog... will upload the photos soon n let ur know again k.. sorry abt it..

promos:
nearing n i still dunno lotza stuff.. thatz y decide that i shld mug real hard b4 i get kicked out. maths. lit. econs.

life:
ironic. complicated. haunting. tired. congested. maths. lit. econs.

*work towards no regrets.*

Artist: Maroon 5
Album: Songs About Jane
Title: The Sun

After school
Walking home
Fresh dirt under my fingernails
And I can smell hot asphalt
Cars screech to a halt to let me pass
And I cannot remember
What life was like through photographs
Trying to recreate images life gives us from our past

And sometimes it's a sad song

But I cannot forget
Refuse to regret
So glad I met you
Take my breath away
Make everyday
Worth all of the pain that I have
Gone through
And mama I've been cryin'
Cause things ain't how they used to be
She said the battles almost won
And we're only several miles from the sun

Moving on down the street
I see people I won't ever meet
Think of her, take a breath

Feel the beat in the rhythm of my steps
And sometimes it's a sad song

But I cannot forget
Refuse to regret
So glad I met you
Take my breath away
Make everyday
Worth all of the pain that I have
Gone through
And mama I've been cryin'
Cause things ain't how they used to be
She said the battles almost won
And we're only several miles from the sun

The rhythm of her conversation
The perfection of her creation
The sex she slipped into my coffee
The way she felt when she first saw me
Hate to love and love to hate her
Like a broken record player
Back and forth and here and gone
And on and on and on and on

why are we given life?
for i've realise a blog that talked abt it... n many state their different opinons..i'm here to state mine...

many thinks that in life we must achieve sumthing, we must prove to others who we are.. the loyal catholics and christian believes that we live life to glorify god.. sum believe that we are given life to produce more lives... and another will tell u that in live we must attain all the right moral values and life is seeking such moral values.

let the rubbish tell u her thoughts and feelings being a free thinker who got exposed to not only one religion. i believe that every1 came to earth with their personal task and goals.. something to achieve and thatz for them to decide. the level of achievement is not set by another but by oneself as one hafta satisfy his own goals and love herself as thats of utmost importance.

my goals? i used to thought that i haf none... but i realised i do haf goals. To aid those who require help in their sorrowest situations. to bring laughter into the already sorrowful days. a psychologist as my dream. a social worker as practicality.

i love myself for who i am... i love the surroundingz and pple.. family and frenz and even the strangers on the streets who made a difference in my life juz by being there. i have given up upon my personal desires, but the desire to aid another will alwayz be burning.. n support is a necessity in one's life.. especially assurance and support from family members.

God may be the source and reasons of living for some... but yet it is an abstract figure who helps society maintain its moral standards through religion. a fear of afterlife(future) and abstract believes that help the standards be maintained. Is there really the existence of God? i believe he's in the heart of every1.. depending on whom each individual believes most in and regard the highest respect for.

in fact pple lived on to want to gain respect, from everyone. who on earth wants to get neglected and being despised. many will want to fit in to the society. finding their own little group of pple to hang around with,to be with. gaining assurance and security from the other being.

aniwae itz juz my sincere opinion.... my feelings towards life.. think there will be quite sum time b4 i blog again... for i've to start to concentrate for the promos. wish me luck. take care n study hard peepz! n for those in weak health.. pls do take care!

more photos available at the recent photos link! of the timez we celeb bdae with jm at ps and the funky adventures at spotlight with yt n my nephews! adorable! n theres the lovely story of the "squirt squirt good vs evil"! drop by when ur bored or need sum entertainment!

ok i know i haven been bloggin... but been rather busy trying to catch up with work.. n it doesnt help that i keep reminded that promos is like 2 weeks away n i haven done any proper revision... i betta start soon... n how long ago haf i repeated that!

the past week was filled with laughter, sarcasm, fun, irritation and emotions of all sorts. few of us engaged in our secret mission that is not to be revealed. dun ask me what.. cuz i already said not to be revealed. but the climax was on thurs when we went shoppin for stuff and i spent like 70+ buckz in a day.. ouch.. hahhaz.. but it was worth it larz... though not on myself.. den that nite went to chomp chomp for dinner with sarah n jaimes n manz.. we devoured on the food like we were stone aged man who haven ate for ages.. for we ordered an amt that sum up to more den 20 buckz!

my plans to studied didnt exactly succeed yest as i was too caught up by the facination in the macs and the cd-rama.. hahaz.. sorry yt! that i caused u to return home late too! and todae... econz mock.. letz not tok abt it larz.. for it was a irritant n headache but yet comical for what happened.. n after that.. sumhow it felt like we forgot the existence of examz.

ended up at my hse due to the need to borrow binders but we ended up spashing each other with the water guns we found at my nephews toys stuff... *squirt squirt squirt* n an hour juz got squirted away... ShuSh.. it occurred in my hse as my mom wasnt at home n we juz played like mad larz... hahaz.. but we cleaned up after that n got down to serious work.. using our innovation.. we contributed n produced a lovely packaging!

i went on pointe for dance but my right ankle shivered like the volcano ready to explode.. ms ho commented that i haf lost all form of muscles that i used to haf... looks like itz time for me to build them like crazy after promos... haiz.. all my many yrs of efforts gone juz like this..

itz time to get down to work.. sum1 teach me how... how?! i needa pass promos.. i needa pass it well... h~e~l~P.. for i fantasized the after promos even b4 the start of them.

S	Silent
E	Explosive
L	Loving
I	Innocent
N	Noisy
A	Amorous

Name / Username:

Name Acronym Generator
From Go-Quiz.com

even the acronym can be so ironic n so contrasting. Silent yet Explosive. hahahaz.. n AmoRouS?! manz.. y dun i feel it? hahhahaz.. true? or untrue? leave it to my frenz to decide.

okok.. i know its the holz n sum(or maybe juz 1 larz hahaz) are expectin more updates.. but... but.. was busy with my nephews larz.. they are still at my hse..

homework undone. revision undone. dance unattended. scholarship appeals but inability resounds. hmz..the holz juz flew past like that, ups and downs.

yest met up with jm + rocket( i really dunno how to spell his name) n marian + desmond and yt... every1 so different.. so sweet.. while yt n i so brite that i desperately needed sunglasses.. but it was very fun larz! our b'dae cake that alwayz turned out disastrous cuz of us.. but nvm larz.. go into our stomach also all the same! hahaz.. den the never ending suaning and being lame and wOLs.. i miss all of them larz.. hahaz.. n the circle widens as the yr goes.. frm 3 to 4..4 to 6... the arcade drumming with yt damn fun larz!! every1 shld go ps n try the new drum machine! i love it! hahahaz.. but they removed the tamporine 1..! sadz. i think cuz many dun dare to play that... but its really fun! hahaz.. at least now got drums to play!

den nitez spent with yt n nephews n mom..! the times at arcade with nephews! rawkz! they are very cheeky.. mischievious.. naughty.. but den.. itz heck loadsa fun at the same time larz! hahaz.. hope yt didnt get bored to death by us.. or almost died-ed due to their naughtiness.. like calling her "salt bin".. hahahz!

this whole week of late nitez n early morn is freaking tiring but really fun.. been trying to save all my stuff in comp cuz needa reformat it.. now reformatted! FEELS LIKE NEW! it rawkz! efforts paid off!

i'm the tree that braves the storm, sways but never uprooted. *i hope*

bad events occured.. but i'm the tree. though things did ease out.. the problem with me? i carry a happy fascade. no1 knows when i'm truly upset. losing the ability to shed tears of emotions. only those of physical pain. well.. at least i can shed tears due to physical pain.. make me feel human. disgusted or glad.. depends on the perspective of pple's opinion of humanz. mine.. theres both disgust and happiness.

brand me as the rationale thinker. the lazy one who looks for the easiest alternative out, the shortest route. made to think sped up the moments of matured thoughts. the child in me forsaken, but still visible. treasuring childhood. sharpness in my words, representing sharpness in thoughts.(?)

greeting the school days again. back to the rigid routines. i need to get back to dance n not let my leg be the obstacle, pulling me apart frm it. hopes to get well in time for nex yr scholarship for i'm missing yet another scholarship.

contributed by ChaR KKL... ThAnX~!

How to make a Selina

Ingredients: 2 parts warmth 1 part caring 4 parts joy

Method: Stir together in a glass tumbler with a sugared rim. Serve with a slice of happiness. Yum!

been studying the skills of baby sitting thus the lack of time to be online n stone as i usually do... completed lotza mission like mission to bake, mission to swim n now on my way to the mission to xbox.... wish me luck.. babysitting? no.. more for promos.

emotionz-> tired? or not so tired?
hmz.. no update as there is nothin much for me to realli crap abt larz.. overall my life.. flew by so fast that i dun even realise whatz going on! hahhaz.. celebratin emiliaz bdae.. walkin ard town.. visiting jm cuz she got dengue.. saw her bf n damn sweet larz.. accompany her whole day..

but single life still rawks despite all the sweetness u get frm partnars... I am self dillusional! maybe i've repeated that 64000 timez n more! hahhahahahhahz.. screw lose?! i'm the robot where all the screws are not tight! beware! for no1 can control the mad.

hmz.. *yawnz*.. i'm supposedly to be studying for the "event" called promos and what haf i been doing? but staring at screens of different kinds. frm the comp screen, to the tv screen, den maybe the movie screen soon? n every night the dream screen!

repeat a lie 64000 times n it will becum true. "I love studying mathz, lit n econs."

many more lines i will love to repeat. but maybe cuz i've repeated too many lines thatz y i'm this tired almost everyday. hahhahz.. theres so many things in life to consider abt.. maybe yt is right.. i'm a sort of "isabella".. of the modern world. who sets herself restriction, neverending principles and morals to keep up with, perspectives to consider. My neverending worries.

but i feel itz much better for me to worry for others den to start worrying for myself. the reason to my goal.. of being a social worker? psychologist/counsillor or sum sort? mean while.. y do i lose the interest in studying to reach the goal.. maybe itz juz my desire to procrastinate, which i shld not allow to occur..

i wanna try other new styles.. been a long time since i adopted new styles. i wanna get a cap.. try hip hop dressing sum day.. poser? or juz my desire to take out "art" on myself. no.. still no skirts as of yet.. skirts shall wait till after jc? or maybe even after uni.. when i hafta adapt to the workin environment of skirts.. den u pple mite start seeing me in them... hmz.. unless my mom decides to make me fit into them sumdae...

well.. b4 i can think of such stuff.. muz first build up my body.. training of abs? i'm feeling so lazy to! more legz muscle to be built.. more tummy muscles too! toning my body till it looks like what i desire for. tough. will my ankle regain its flexibility as b4? hopefully! i need to "diet".. haha by pouring more fastfood n chicken into my mouth..?! haahz.. my never eva successful diet! ok i'm crappin.. but at least its an update.. *yawnz*..

emotionz-> refreshed
ok i'm here to explain how the cake got smashed.. explainin or bitchin.. up to u to decide.. juz gonna gif my point of view.. hahaz

well.. ayan went over with sarah to cherlyn hse to get the cake.. char n i remained at her hse to help with batter.. den accordin to sarah.. she n cherlyn were at the oven trying to check the cake baking, so ayan got a plastic bag (the robinson kind) and slot the cake in.. den left n they wasnt realli noticing her. Cherlyn aunt(or wasnt mom.. cant remember) den told them.. "ur fren look like she's carrying the cake in a very awkward way" so immediately sarah called her.. but too late. she carried the bag by her side.. n probable smashed. Den tokie called char.. n *beep*.. n i called ayan n tell her to level the cake, give it minimal movement, n open it up at home n call me immediately again.

she called n said its smashed.. i asked "izit 1/4 squashed, 1/2 squashed or 3/4 squashed?" she replied "the whole cake is squashed.. its in pieces..." well.. my heart crash.. our efforts.. but cannot push the blame immediately to her.. cuz pple do make mistakes.. juz that sumtimes we realli lack common sense n commit lotza mistakes.. n there goes our nite of sarcasm on "common sense"..well.. we were tired and as char's father commented.. "3 angry bakers, who cldnt even tok to uncle" at that pt of time. hahhaz..

reflectin upon it is funny, at that point of time.. it was infuriating. though we did realise the comical side. but cant help being heated up frm the oven n the incidents.

maybe that was bad.. but it was worst when the nex day where the estimation of cake to be cost abt 5 buckz.. when 1 block of cheese was 4.10.. n we needed 3 per cake. maybe she didnt know.. but it still hurts. more heated arguments. how bitchy(in a way larz) the 3(jaimes, sarah and me) of us was.. yet trying to understand her situation. but as sarahs mom mentioned, we muz gif pple chance to redeem themself when they make a mistake. UndErStanDing required.

glad everything is over. break.. i needed it. todae i slept loads.. woke up at 9+.. dozed off on my table at 11+.. woke up at 12 and went to bed *crashed* and selpt till 2.30.. thats how tired i am.. n had to pull myself up to finished the essays overdued.. but now rejuvenalised. i still need more slp. still owe 1 essay..

sumthin appeasing to my heart occured today.. sincere thank you for the initiative. no matter what the intention was, i feel so much comfortable now. i love friendship. i love snaffee. i love mom. i love my family? in an awkward way i guess. single life of simplicity is the best i can ask for. now concentration needed to be turned towards promos. finding my momentum all over again. NeEd LoAdsa luCk n hArdWoRk.

emotionz-> eXhauStEd...
well.. sorry to consistent readers.. prob juz a few... but v sorry for taking so long to update.. EsP Twin... but hear my side of the story n u'll under stand why i have been missing in action online..

since last week we decided to open a stall on teachers day and bake cheesecakes and cookies.. WHOA.. i got an extremely packed schedule.. lotza things happened.. good and bad.. lessons learnt.. more experience gained.. and increasing knowledge of our fellow classmates.. bonded more pple closer together.. view each other at our worst form of state...

fridae we went to char's hse to bake cookies.. twin n imran and char n sarah and me! it was pretty fun! egg on imrans head.. hmz.. if ur readin this im or char.. was the eggs good for hair? hahaz.. and the refreshment for char.. hahaz.. baked abt 150 cookies.. of there was more but it was in our stomach.. Buddy, buddy junior and Sandman was juz so adorable!! in case u dun know.. they are chars dog n puppies!! hahaz the puppies are 3 mth old and they are the same size and weight as my 3 YEARS old SnaFfEe! but they are juz so cute! the kinda bulldogs who lies in the thick white blanket and u cannot differentiate the two! hahaz.. shih tzu, westie, bulldogs and golden retrievers are my fav kinda dogs!! reached home quite late as sarah n i were at chomp chomp for dinner! YuMmY!!

saturdae was an all so tiring day over at jaimes hse.. cheesecakes cheesecakes n more cheesecakes.. baked abt 6 there.. n mixed abt 7 mixture.. went to sarah's hse to drop the cake.. WHOAZ! sarah hse is simple and nice! sweet and warm! n the tinge of jasmine flower smell juz relax the tired mind! n reached home.. like.. 12? or was it later?! cant remember.. n stayed up to do the teachers day photoz.. everything was in a frenzy as we looked for more pple to help with bakin on sundae as its almost impossible to bake 8 cakes on sundae at imran's hse alone! luckily char our saviour cld open up her hse!
lesson learnt: do not overestimate. its better to underestimate den to overestimate and panic, causing lotza trouble much later.

Sunday.. morn met sarah n serene at 8.15.. serene helped to keep 2 cakes.. and sarah plus me went to do sum shoppin.. n jaimes called to say abt a spoilt cake so we ended up back at sarahs hse.. saw her mom! manz!! like colour photocopied version of each other!! so similar!! hahaz.. and equally nice + holy + all the good things!! wahz!! IMPRESSED! her family is filled with warmth... WhOa! she dropped us back at my hse and got my mom to helped us save a cake! which she eventually did... mom RaWks at baking/cooking! den sarah n me head to chars hse to bake more cake.. yayz! i learnt how to baked a cheesecake! and cookies too!

at chars hse.. everythign was so tiringly comical. We prep the batter.. n sarah plus char had to cycle to n fro frm char hse to cherlyn to borrow oven.. and our initial plan for studies ( we even cleared a space for studying.. but it was swiftly taken over by bakin stuff and our books? off to a rack at sum corner) soiled by bakery! and even her brother and sister helped us! she sure haf super adorable siblings.. and they revealed to me sum "secrets" abt her!! HAHAHHAHAZ.. oh no hope char doesnt read this.. hahhahhaz.. n char's father is rather comical too!

Well.. the climax of sunday.. when the phone call came and Char went *BEEP*... news arrived. "ayan smahed a cake".. which turned from a shocking, disbelief, upsetting, worried and chaos to a break of laughter, a form of joke... but manz.. its funny how char, sarah and i was so tired and irritated that we were freakin sarcastic.. and maybe even bitchy.. hahaz.. pple at their worst is when they are tired and sumthing sparks everyting off to make them lose tolerance. we WerE at our WorSt.
Lesson learnt: always make sure u explain things out and warn abt the responsibility when 1 handles sumthing.. every little procedure is impt. teamwork is impt and a necessity. trust is required. there is a limit to every1 tolerance.

monday.. sorting out stuff... doing last min logistics.. off to eat chicken chop.. prepared the teachers day prez from class (photo frames with our thumbprints)... the phonecall dat caused the heart to ache.. the thought that effort is not appreciated.. how heart breaking.. the days flew by me juz like that..
lesson learnt: reasoning is a better solution den argument. always think abt possibilities of others reaction.

n the big day for all the prep arrived.. morn delivering cake.. the fantastic concert! the lcs did a great job in their dance! really rawkz! and the bball games with mr isaac lim.. who is simply marvellous at bball.. cut dunno how many pple n shooto! hahaz.. n playing against coach and mr fahy was ultimate stress but fun! weak ankle that cldnt hang on.. dashign to and fro.. need to build up weak stamina.. the winning of the game.. serene shot.. jas shot.. WHOAZ... our never say die spirit to defend! u all rawk pple! i love my class.. cakes sold out... cookies too! i love the enthusiasm..!
lesson learnt: great teamwork and every1's help will produce great result. not every1 might provide the same level of help, but every little bit counts.

in a team, there are always those who give all out, the responsibly, the leader. the slack/joker, those who tried but not as much achievements, and the dont care. appreciate every member, for those who lead will help members reach nearer to the goal, the responsible will make sure things are handled, the slack/joker will ease the tension, the pple who tried allow the rest to be motivated, the dont care make us appreciate our leader and the others even more. the importance of every1.

every individual haf their own little set of problems. like what mr lim said, when we are poor, we dream and fantasize, but when we are rich, we become lazy and forget abt the poor. the tunnel experience further bond our class together. i love pe lessons more n more. dirty experience but love it all the same. another time on the wall.. i did it without help now. achievement. many more things to learn.

todae i baked caked and cookies all by myself. mom rushed out at the very last min to settle sum stuff. sorted out. my little quarrelsome family. my big problematic families. getting used to it. as more marriages occur and child brought into the family, more suffer the same fate. sorry to snaffee for bringing her to my family and enduring what i hafta go through n maybe worst. but can only dote on her more. i shld neva bring another into the chaos. maybe until i work and manage to own my very own hse to keep more dogs. but thats the end.

At moments her pride rebelled against her passion for him, and she even had longed to be free. -Eustacia frm return of the natives.

a meaningful line frm my fav chapter of the book. the love of a gurl described so detailed. the irony in life. i dislike the book for its never ending passion. the sadness lingers. 5 more bks to the end of Return of the Natives. wish me luck. promos.. my fear. time to work on it.

twin.. long long entry as i've promised. maybe abit nonsensical.. maybe itz too myself oriented. but its my blog..=P hahhahaz... organising is hard. relationships are hard to maintain.

sarahs family let me realise that a happy and strong family do exist in the world. but i hafta appreciate my complicatin one too. =) jia you every1. tedious time of the yr.. jia you.